


RUINATION

by M_corry



Series: RUINATION [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: 1970s, Alien Invasion, Aliens, Alternate Universe - 1970s, Black Character(s), Bwwm, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Outer Space, Period-Typical Racism, PoC, Racism, Romance, Slow Burn, United States, Vietnam War, Wmbw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:26:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_corry/pseuds/M_corry
Summary: Mariana Locke has always had to find a way to deal with what was thrown at her with grace. Whether it was facing discrimination at school, or adjusting to a new way of life for the sake of her parents; She has always followed instructions given to her without a second thought.  But in the fall of 1971 she finds herself in an impossible situation. With her best friend/love of her life missing in action at war, and her parents being ripped from her within a matter of minutes. She decides that she is done sucking it up, and doing as told. She's putting the her life back together, and she isn't taking no for an answer.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: RUINATION [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2061810
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

"You don't have to do this!" She wheezed as she pushed herself up onto her knees from the gravel. His normally silent footsteps were much easier to hear now as he stepped closer. Even being able to hear him she knew she was barely able to get up, much less get away from him. She looked up from her hands and into his eyes.  
"Oh, Don't worry, I want to." His voice was hollow. His eyes narrowed at her sorry state.  
She wouldn't accept this.

She couldn't accept this.

This wasn't him.  
"No you don't! Holi- UGH." She had barely been able to finish before his boot hit her face hard enough to concuss. She groaned in pain reaching up to nurse the stinging right side of her face. She curled in on herself holding her face trying to hold back tears as she looked up at him out of the corner of her eye. Working on getting her breathing under control before she spoke again. She couldn't panic, if she did she'd be in even more danger than she already was. She couldn't allow herself to become anymore disoriented .  
He rolled his eyes as he nudged her arm with his foot. Looking down at her carelessly.  
"No no. Go on, continue. What were you going to call me human?" He asked a smirk growing on his face as he squatted down to the young woman's level. 

"W-What happened to you! W-Why are you talking like that?" She asked the frustration in her tone was clear. It seemed to entertain him even further.  
He tilted his head to the side.

"Whatever do you mean? You're asking what happened to me? You don't know me. Nor do you really care, you're just trying to talk your way out of certain death." He said as he reached down and ran his fingers through her ponytail almost how she remembered he would all those times before.  
She almost allowed herself to relax, her subconscious wanted to believe that she was safe. She knew better.  
He proved her exactly right, as his fingers swiftly gripped the top of her ponytail and pulled up harshly to get her on her knees once again. She hissed in pain as she was unable to do much to stop him.  
"Although I have to say your little pleas are pitiful." he teased.  
The amount of strength he possessed now was inhuman. She'd learned the hard way he'd always win in battles of brute force. He held her in place keeping her eyes level with his.  
The smirk on his face dropped and instead the hateful glare settled on his expression once again. Looking at her with eyes she couldn't recognize. They weren't the dark brown she remembered them to be.  
No, they were white and gold irises shrouded in black that was as dark as ink.  
"H-Holiday, please!" She exclaimed as she gripped up at his hands.  
He growled as his free hand shot forwards, a nearly vice grip on her throat in almost an instant. She gasped as she felt the blood flowing to her head begin to cut off.  
"That's not my name." He began. His glare getting as dark as his tone. He squeezed just a bit tighter, releasing her hair.  
"Stop calling me that" He nearly spat, the name was striking a cord in him it upset him to hear.  
Her hands reached up to grip at his wrist.  
"T-This isn't you! You'd never hurt me!" She struggled to speak, tears beginning to gather in her eyes. Somewhere in her mind she began to accept her fate. She was going to die.  
Her mind was running a million miles an hour, playing back every memory she had at once. She thought of her parents and how much she missed them.  
She thought of her comrades in the rebellion, how hard they worked. How far they'd come together.  
Most importantly... she thought of Holiday. With those thoughts she thought of how she should have looked longer.  
She should have tried harder to get to him. This version of him... this false version of him. He wouldn't have existed if she'd just worked harder.  
He threw his head back and let out a laugh, it wasn't like how he would laugh before. It held evidence of the devious character he had become.  
His eyes fell back on her miserable face and he fell back into his deadly expression.  
"Oh really? I knew you humans were stupid creatures. but I didn't think you'd be this dumb!" He said as he rolled his eyes as he leaned in closely to her.  
"I am hurting you sweetheart, is this not enough to show you I'm not who you think I am?" He asked, seeming amused by her stupidity all while his grip was getting steadily more tight.  
She grit her teeth as the tears streamed down her cheeks. Her hands gripping tighter around his wrist. If he wanted her dead he'd kill her. He had the strength to do it. She'd watched him take down her whole rookie squad not even a ten minutes ago. He was stronger than this. She knew something in him was stopping him from killing her as quickly as he did them. She knew he was hesitating, whatever it was that made him hesitate she had to exploit it. She had to bring him back.  
"Y-you'd never hurt a-anyone!" she wheezed out. "And I know that cause..."  
She was struggling to focus her vision on his face through the tears and lack of oxygen.  
"Cause I...love you Holiday"  
Her eyes rolled back and she began to fall into nothing but thoughts of the past.  
Thoughts of Holiday before he was this... thoughts of that very first time they'd seen one another.  
If only she could go back to then.


	2. Can't Take My Eyes Off You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving into the neighborhood

Autumn 1970

"Mama! That's the last one!" Marian's voice echoed off of the polished linoleum tile as she set the heavy box of silverware down on the kitchen counter. The sturdy thud of her newly unloaded burden was almost loud enough to mask the distinctive click of her mother's shoes as her footsteps sounded nearer and nearer from across the kitchen tile.

"Well, that's wonderful! Where's your father?" the woman cooed almost absentmindedly as she pressed in beside her daughter, her attention focused more firmly on the silverware as she tugged firmly on one corner of the box, opening a cardboard flap so she could peer inside and confirm that everything was accounted for.

"He's in the front closing up the truck." Mariana glanced briefly at her mother before wiping her hands off on her dress, her fingers leaving dusty smudges against the soft summer yellow. Her mother smiled as she pulled open one of the kitchen drawers, their silver clinking merrily as she put each piece delicately down into its new home.

"You know the radio is in the den if you wanna bring it in here and plug it up." The woman didn't look up from her task as she spoke, her gentle voice accompanied by the rhythmic sound of silver meeting silver. Growing up it had been a rare moment indeed when the house had been completely silent during the waking hours, Mariana having learnt from a young age that a song and a smile could make even tedious work like this just a little bearable.

"Sure! You said the den right?!" The girl seemed to perk right up at the idea, her words not even fully formed in her mouth by the time she was already out the door.

"In the den, check the box with the records in it!" Her mother called, looking up from the silverware to see her daughter's form already disappearing around the corner, that one quick glance still managing to reveal the broad smile on the girl's face which the older woman could remember seeing light up the halls of their old home in the Christmases of her youth.

It was difficult not to break out into a run just to get there quicker, but she still found herself in the den mere seconds later, the entire room seemingly filled wall to wall with stacks of cardboard boxes each containing a mix of necessities and memories which they'd been able to pack away and carry with them. Running her fingers over the side of the boxes on the couch and against the wall, Mari muttered under her breath as her emerald eyes scanned the faded block lettering which adorned the visible side of some of the boxes, searching for the one which held her true target.  
"Records, records, records... AH! Found it!" She almost pounded like a cat, her eyes lighting up as they settled upon one worn box in particular. She couldn't help the excited grin on her face, the prospect of swaying to some melody or other as she worked driving her on, urging her to tear open the box to get to the harmonic treasure within. However, as her hands made quick work of the obstructing cardboard, her vibrant smile quickly turned to a frown as she saw shortened and sheer end of the metal where the long antenna was supposed to be. A defeated sigh escaped her lips, the prolonged sound becoming a grown as she sat down hard on the floor, the box cradled in her arms. 

Her eyes lifted even if only a little when a heavier set of footsteps drew her attention to the doorway. There stood her father, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, his dark eyes cast down towards her perch on the floor with a look of benign paternal concern.  
"What's wrong Mar, you forget something?" His head cocked ever so slightly to one side as his eyes slipped from her face to the box in her arms as if trying to discern what might be missing from it which would prompt such a reaction. "We can have uncle Jay bring it by when he comes to visit next week." He continued as he walked over to her and saw more clearly what she had in her hands.   
"Oh no... I'm sorry Mar, I know you love the radio." His voice dropped lower in tone as the man knelt beside her, tone empathetic, but his eyes searching hers. Hesitantly at first, he reached out for the radio, taking it from his daughter's grasp, and when he wasn't met with resistance, rose to his feet with the inoperable machine in his own arms.   
"It's alright Pa, I'm pretty sure we can get our hands on another one... would've been nice to keep this one though." Mariana let out a sigh, her dark curls bouncing as she shook her head. Her voice was soft and hollow with an almost imperceptible waiver to it as her eyes traced the worn and chipped dials. Her childhood was filled with memories of laugher and music, each with a common thread which was the now lifeless object before her.

It had been her grandmother's. It had played through the light of each day and would gladly have continued deep into the night if only Grammy had let it. Just the thought of those grainy melodies was a gateway to other memories, other images of smiling faces and the irreplaceable feeling of family. She remembered all the barbeques they'd had in her grandmother's backyard; so many happy faces gathered round, talking and laughing while the rich smell of broiling meat and charcoal filled the air. Even then there would be the sound of music, that same radio playing loudly as it refused to let anyone ignore the heavenly tones it contributed to the gathering. Never loud enough to interrupt the memories which they were busy making, just loud enough as to always be a part of them.

When her grandmother passed a few years ago her parent's said that while it would stay in the kitchen, it belonged to her. She had spent more than a few afternoons after school sitting at the kitchen table listening to whatever channel worked best, doing her chores while singing along to the tunes that played. So long as there was music in that house the old memories would never fade, there would only be room for more of them. Each time there was only static it was her grandmother getting frustrated with the radio, every time it was an old song it was her uncle telling her stories of the adventures he'd had with her father when they were children. So long as the music played none of it would ever really be gone.  
All those memories lived in this little wooden box... and now it would never play another song for her to remind her of them.

"Yeah, I think so too." Her father nodded along with her, letting out a matching sigh as he looked down at the defunct radio in his hands. "But I think it was about time to get a new one anyways. We still have the record player." He nodded over to the wrapped item sitting on the coffee table surrounded by yet more unsorted boxes. It was a valiant attempt to lighten the mood, after all, they didn't need any one object to play the songs which were themselves little memories which were far more enduring than whatever wood or plastic homes contained them; but this object in particular was as much a memory as any of the songs shed heard from it a hundred times over.

"Yeah... I guess you're right... I'm gonna go help Mama put the dishes in the kitchen cabinet." Despite his attempts Mariana just couldn't bring herself to smile, not in that moment at least. Instead, she pushed off against the soft carpet, easing herself back onto her feet.   
"Alright, I'm gonna work on getting everything set up in here. If I get it done quick enough, I might be able to set up the record player for you." The man straightened up alongside her, cradling the radio in one arm as he set his free hand down upon her head, affectionately rustling her hair before withdrawing. "I know this is really tough for you Mar. Just try and take it one day at a time... alright?" His dark eyes met her own as a soft half-smile shaped itself across his lips. His were the eyes of experience, they had seen more than hers had, but in that moment they both looked upon the same thing. Mari held his gaze for as long as she could but seeing the same subtle mourning in them as she felt within herself, she could only meet his gaze for a moment before she had to look away.  
"I will." She turned away, resisting the urge to look back at him as she made her way back towards the kitchen as she'd said she'd do.

Work without the relief of song was tedious, but the time still seemed to slip by her as she let her mind water, the morning quickly giving way to midday. By that time Mariana was in her room putting her clothes away in the drawers of her dresser, an old cabinet which had at one point belonged to her aunt. Every time she straightened up from her work, she could see herself in the large polished oval mirror which rested atop the dark oak surface, remembering when she'd been too small to see over the lip of the dresser and look into the mirror. The dresser was oak with an oval mirror on top so she could see herself. Her aunt had been rather accident prone, and as such almost every drawer had a different handle; some were metal, some wood, but none of them seemed to match the actual oak of the dresser. Still, what really drew her eyes each time she looked up wasn't the mirror itself, but the intricate latticework of vines and roses which entwined themselves around its frame. As a child she'd wanted to use her nail polish to paint the roses the same shade of red she'd always imagined them to be; she'd never done it, but she'd always wanted to. 

Her bed sat in the corner of the room across from the dresser, the white paint chipping off the metal frame around the head where it curled up into a simple heart pattern. She'd already made her bed by this point, and as she plopped down upon it the mint green sheets crumpled slightly under her weight. As she looked up from her bed the walls around her were largely bare, what photos shed cared about enough to have framed were already grouped together on her desk, leaving nothing for her to use to try and make the unmarked space fell less empty. She could go buy some posters with her allowance, but Mariana didn't want to spend it just yet, not when she still had to use it to buy some new shoes for school. Just the thought of it seemed to deflate the girl, causing her to lay back on her bed with a quiet sigh and just spend a moment staring up at the blank ceiling above her.

School

Mariana didn't want to go to school out here, she missed Richmond high, things were just... better there. Richmond had more people like her there. She was terrified of going to her new school here; would be the only colored person there, the only person who was constantly out of place. She was anxious in a way which made her sick to her stomach just thinking about how lonely and scary this was going to be. Fortunately, she was deprived of any further time to dwell on her situation by the sound of her mother's voice calling for her from downstairs.

"Mariana, come downstairs sweetie!" Heeding her mother's call, Mariana hurried to her feet, smoothing out her dress and trying her best to wipe away the dust from unpacking as she made her way down the stairs. As she made it to the base of the stairs, she could see into the living room where her parents sat with another couple whom she did not recognize. The man appeared to be around her father's age with slick black hair and a thick auburn mustache, while the woman beside him had long brown hair whose thick curls were only now starting to show streaks of an almost metallic silver. Both of them had very similar dark chocolate eyes, and both of them were very decidedly white.

"So, this is the girl we've heard so much about?" The white woman spoke, flashing Mariana a pearly smile. "Nice to meet you sweetheart. I'm Eden Weiss, this is my husband Matthew, we're your neighbors!" She added warmly as Mari moved to take a seat between her own parents who seemed surprisingly comfortable with these two new guests in their home.  
"H-Hello..." She said, eyes shifting between the two oddly comfortable smiles on display before her. Of course, she'd expected that some white folks would come to visit; although, she'd assumed they'd come with a burning cross and a few pitchforks like she'd heard from her cousins in the south, not with warm smiles and what appeared to be a tray of chocolate chip cookies. Mari kept her hands in her lap, remaining silent for the time being as she looked back and forth between the two couples as they continued to act so very... comfortable together.

What was even going on? They spoke so familiarly, almost as though they were old friends and not new neighbors. Them as though she could sense the younger girl's anxiety, Mrs. Weiss turned her attention back towards Mari.

"We've known your parents for quite the long time." She pursed her lips, giving Mariana an almost knowing smile as though she'd been reading her thoughts. "We were ecstatic when we learned that you all would be moving here!" She concluded with a genuinely warm looking smile. "And your parents are even telling us you're going to be going to high school with our son instead of bussing into the urban areas. Are you excited?" Mr. Weiss questioned in that same easygoing and enthusiastic voice, her head tilted ever so slightly to the left.  
"Well-"  
"Of course she is! She was top of her class at Richmond High School! It'll be an amazing experience for her to go to school there!" Her mother cut her off by answering in her place. Her fists clenched slightly, her dress bunching up in her grasp as she forced herself to play along. "Yeah... that's about right." Her parents told her that she had to keep a strong face when it came to these things, if she told one person here that she didn't want to go shed immediately be dismissed as ungrateful, she'd be looked down upon for not appreciating the opportunity to move ahead in life by other black people, and used as a further example of why black's shouldn't go to school with whites by the racists who were still adamantly against her attending school there. 

"Does she need a ride to school? Holiday drives, so he can give her a ride." Suggested Eden.   
"Holiday? Oh that's your boy's name. He's a fine young man, helped me with the first few boxes this morning before the ladies arrived with the station wagon. That would be perfect, besides, it would give our families an excuse to get a bit closer!" Her father let out a billowing jovial laugh, the kind he only made when with guests. The couple smiled back, evidently in agreement, and the four of them went on talking. Mariana wanted to excuse herself, but she knew better than that, they'd invited her down to talk and she knew she wasn't allowed to go until they dismissed her. Still, even if she couldn't leave the conversation that didn't mean that Mari had to actively take part in it. So, she sat there, it was hard to tell how long, just nodding along as if she was paying attention everything seemed to blur together until a knock on the front door grabbed her attention.

"Mariana darling, can you get that?" Her mother asked dismissively, her attention almost immediately returning to her guests. "Oh! We set up the record player, let me put something on!" Her mother added cheerfully as she went to set up a record on the record player that her father had set up just a few hours before. It was obvious that even though the Weiss family appeared welcoming, Mari was still uncomfortable, and the music might at least somewhat help her to relax.   
"Yes Mama." Mari replied dutifully as she stood up and hurried to the front door, eager for any excuse to at least momentarily excuse her from the conversation. Reaching the front door she began her almost scripted greeting even as she opened it; her parents had constantly reminded her of the need to be polite here, not all of their neighbors would be welcoming, but they couldn't give them anything which would validate that view. Even so, the prepared saccharine greeting died in her mouth when she came face to face with the person on the other side of the door.   
It was exactly that moment that the record cut on. 

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

Mariana found herself looking up into a pair of impossibly dark chocolate eyes framed by long eyelashes. Before her stood a tall young man, he was probably around six feet tall, but something in his expression erased any imposing quality which his stature might have given him. He had a pale face, the graceful curve of his features framed beautifully by dark copper red curls which seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. Despite his height, the white button-down shirt and dark brown straight legged slacks he wore revealed a surprisingly slender figure which only added to the strangely welcoming air he had to him. The boy's face held a look similar to her own, an expression of innocent wonder, taking her in bit by bit, just as much as she was him. 

You'd be like Heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much

She looked away, brushing some hair behind her ear as she tried not to seem too flustered.  
"H-Hello... u-um are you here for something?" She asked gently as she looked at the young man again, finally managing to get herself back under control again. Her voice seemed to snap the boy out of his own trance as well, causing him to clear his throat, looking away as he took a moment to compose himself.   
"Y-yeah. I'm here to... well to meet you and your family." He said, running his fingers back through his thick curls and down his neck as he met her gaze, quicly casting it downward to look awkwardly at their feet.  
"To meet my family?" She asked softly. To meet me?  
After a moment he seemed to regain his composure as well, offering her a more controlled nod and a gentle smile, fnally extending his head to her in a proper greeting.  
"Yeah, I'm Holiday Weiss. My parents said they'd be here about now. What's your name?" He asked, seeming to have fully recovered now. His voice was soft and as warm as sunshine, his head tilting ever so slightly to the side just as his mother's had when she'd been talking to her.

At long last, love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

Mari's eyes slowly drifted from his face to his hand, it taking the girl just a moment to actually register what he had said. She nodded gently, slowly reaching out to take his hand.   
"It's nice to meet you Holiday... I'm Mariana." She shook his hand for way longer than was socially acceptable, something which he didn't seem to mind in the slightest. However, before either of them could say anything else or realize how long their handshake had been going on for their attention was called away from one another by Mariana's mother.  
"Mari, baby who is it?"   
She quickly withdrew her hand and stepped in so she could peek her head into the den.   
"U-um it's..."  
"It's me... hello, sorry for being late, I was doing Sunday school tutoring today." Holiday spared her from that particular freeze by stepping past her and into their view, closing the front door behind him.

"Oh wonderful, Samuel, Annie. This is Holiday. Holiday, this is Mr. and Mrs. Locke." Mrs. Weiss introduced him to the group with a wide smile, gesturing to her son as he entered.   
Mari watched as Holiday shook hands with her father and gave a wave to her mother who then decided it was time for sustenance.   
"Mari, baby girl can you get us the lemonade from the refrigerator?" Mari's mother turned towards the teen, motioning to the kitchen. Mari nodded made her way back towards the kitchen, only this time with a noticeable skip in her step. Opening the fridge and saw that her mother had indeed made lemonade, and that the Weiss family had evidently brought groceries with them as well. They already had cookies so she was sure the drink would do just fine. However, just as she was reaching up to retrieve some cups from one cabinet in came Holiday, the boy glancing around at what kitchen decorations they'd managed to put up. She offered him an awkward wave which he seemed to almost reflexively return with a bright smile.   
"I thought you might need help with all the cups, so I figured I'd offer myself as another pair of hands." He walked over to where she was, reaching up to retrieve another few cups from the open cupboard.   
"O-oh... cool um yeah, that'd be nice." She looked awkwardly from him to the cups she already had on the counter. Mariana didn't do great when it came to interacting with new people. It wasn't as if she didn't like people, she was just used to being considered a bit unusual by others. She liked to read and listen to music at low volumes, she wasn't one to go to the drive-in movies, or hang out in diners. She liked watching Ed Sullivan with her parents at night and spending her weekends sorting out the many thoughts in her head. She did have some friends, but they knew her and understood her limits. She didn't feel like she had to try hard around them.

Holiday seemed pretty laid back, but she didn't know where the boundaries were. Was he being nice to make his parents happy? Was he being nice because he thought she was pretty? She really couldn't tell, and it was more than just a bit confusing.   
"Are you ready to go? I'll take three if you take three?" Holiday met her gaze as he nodded in agreement, picking up the glasses that he'd already filled while she was off getting lost inside her own head. Shaking off the cobwebs she nodded and took up her own allotted three. With a subtle nod of the head he motioned for her to follow, Mari all too readily falling in behind him as they returned together to the living room with the lemonade as requested.

She had been about to settle back into her former spot between her parents, when Mr. Weiss spoke up with a suggestion.   
"Why don't the two of you go down to the corner store and grab something to eat? Give Mariana a tour of the block or something." He held out a five-dollar bill to Holiday, choosing to ignore the plate of cookies before him and the newly stocked fridge in the kitchen in favor of finding an excuse to try and push the two kids into spending some more time together. After a moment's hesitation Holiday took the offered bill with a gracious nod and turned his attention to Mariana.   
"Sure... want to get some fresh air?" He asked, once again gave her that genial and lighthearted smile. She hesitated for but a moment, looking at her parents only to receive a subtle nod of encouragement.

"Okay..." 

Mari didn't know why she was being so quiet. Holiday had already seemingly proved that he was at least nice enough to hold a conversation with; he opened the door for her and walked on the street side when they walked on the sidewalk. But as they entered the corner store, she still felt weird about being with him. Holiday had definitely tried to get her to talk. He would tell her about the neighbors who lived in each house, point out things they'd had renovated, and ask her how she liked her new home and how it compared to other places shed lived. All she could manage was a quick nod and an awkward smile before she'd start shifting back and forth from her heels to her toes in a nervous trance.

Finally the two arrived at their destination and she found herself stopping at the door, her eyes immediately affixed to the all too familiar sign she could see hanging in the shop window.   
Holiday had already started to enter in without her, not noticing that she had stopped just a step from the doorway. It was a few moments before she saw the redhead peek his head out of the door, looking confused as he gave her a somewhat inquisitive smile.   
"Everything alright?" He asked, stepping back out of the story and up to her side, looking down at her with a mix of mild confusion and a more touching amount of concern.   
Mariana merely gestured with a nod of her head to the painted words hanging in the window.   
WHITES ONLY  
Holiday followed her gaze to the sign, then looked back at her. He paused for a moment, lifting a hand to cover his mouth, brows furrowing in the semblance deep in thought he ran his gaze back over her form.   
"Do you like milkshakes?" He asked, now looking at her from the corner of his eye as he faced back down the way they had come. When she nodded, he put his hand down, a smile returning to his face as he met her gaze fully once again.

"Okay... wait here!" He said, quickly turning and hurrying off back in the direction of their homes. Mari raised an eyebrow as he went, wondering where he was running off to and what plan had suddenly stricken the boy's fancy. Still, she did as told, leaning her back against the brick wall and looking up at the sky which was beginning to turn orange above her. Her eyes focusing on the clouds that floated through the colorful space; Instead of white like they were in the day, they were turning a nice shade of pastel pink. She found getting lost in the many shapes they made as she waited, only snapping out of it when she heard the sound of a car coming to a stop right in front of her. She turned her head and saw Holiday through the open window in front of her, sitting in a shiny blue challenger. Parking at the sidewalk and got out and walked around to open the passenger side door for her.   
She sighed and smiled back walking to get into the passenger seat. Even as she climbed in she was a bit puzzled, wondering how he'd been able to afford such a car. But as she looked up at him and that warm goofy smile plastered to his face, such questions just seemed to lose their importance.

"Thank you." She smiled gently as she took her offered seat, hands in her lap as he shut the door behind her. Holiday jogged back around the car and slid into the driver's seat beside her, smiling innocently back at the slightly confused smile on Mari's face.  
"Where are we going?" She questioned, looking across the car to the redhead.   
"We." He put emphasis on the word, pausing as he shifted the car into drive before turning to face her. "Are gonna go on a little... mini adventure." He said in that same saccharine sweet way as they pulled out onto the street, driving back past their houses. They drove in silence, this time because no matter what Mari asked, Holiday refused to tell her anything about their planned destination. When at last he pulled off the street again, he parked the car in the lot of what looked to be an old diner.   
"Alright... Stay right here!" He said as he stopped the car and opened his door. Without waiting for her response, he hurried out and jogged inside.

As Mariana waited alone in the car she absentmindedly played with the hem of her dress as she thought about the series of events which had just transpired. Holiday was... strange.  
Friendly for sure, but strange. She was used to signs like the one at the corner store. Did he think it'd upset her? She perked up again as she noticed movement from the corner of her eye, watching him come back to the car with two to-go cups in a cup holder, and a brown bag in his free hand. Putting the bag on top of the car he opened the door and handed her the cup holder.   
"Hold this for a moment?" he asked, offering her another one of his gentle smiles as he did. Setting the disposable cardboard cupholder in her lap she removed the cold cups and set them in the car's cup holder. Holiday finally settled in the driver's seat and handed her a warm bag which her nose quickly told her had to be filled with fries.

"Alright, one last place to go then we can eat!" He said, still maintaining the mystery of their outing as he put the car in reverse and set them off once more back onto the street. By this time the sky had turned from a burnt pastel orange to the kind of vibrant midnight violet it achieved just before the last of the sun's light disappeared. The stars were beginning to show themselves above them as they drove back along the dimly lit streets in the direction of her house. Rather than ending in her driveway though, Holiday parked the car at the house beside hers, the one she had to assume belonged to the Weiss family. Putting the car in park the boy turned off the power before finally sitting back in his seat and picking up the milkshake resting in his plastic cupholder, a glance from him telling Mari that he intended for her to do the same.   
She slowly grabbed her own and he clinked their cups together.   
"I've been wanting one of these forever" He said before eagerly taking off the top to drink it. She watched as it immediately went wrong and more than a little bit of the creamy brown treat dripped onto his white shirt.   
"Ah!" He jumped in surprise from the sudden chill of it, causing Mari to lift a hand to cover her mouth in an attempt to suppress a loud snort. She couldn't help but laugh at the shocked expression on his face. It was... it was cute.   
He turned to her, his eyes wide and reproachful for a moment as she laughed.   
"I-I'm sorry... I just... the noise and the - the AH! Hahahaha!" She had to put her drink down as she tried to compose herself, snorting once again which only set him as well.   
"Why are you laughing?" She said through her fit of giggles.   
He smiled and tried to explain, gasping through his own fit of laughter as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Your laugh! It's..It's" He didn't end up really explaining it, but by the time they calmed down the wall Mari had put up had all but completely disappeared. They spent the remainder of their time bonding over the food which Holiday had bought and sharing a series of increasingly unfunny stories which nevertheless kept sending both of them into further fits of uncontrollable laughter. By the time the two actually left the car so that Holiday could walk her up to her front door, Mari had decided that she'd made her first new friend there. After sharing one last lingering look she knocked on the door, finding it opening just a moment later to reveal the smiling face of her father.   
"Thanks for getting her home on time Holiday." He said as Mari stepped inside. She turned to him and gave a happy wave.   
Holiday smiled. "Of course! Thanks for trusting me to take her around town. Mari, I'll be ready to go at around seven thirty. See you tomorrow! Bye Mr. Locke!" He said as he gave the older man's hand a shake. Sending her a wave as well with his free hand before he hurried across the lawn to get to his house.   
Mari watched the door close and looked at her father who smiled down at her. Lifting a hand he ruffled her hair.   
"He seems like a nice young man." He said as he walked off to the kitchen.   
Mari nodded and as her father left her in the front room she went up to her own to get ready for bed.   
Her only thoughts that night were about how maybe... just maybe... She might actually enjoy school tomorrow.


	3. Lady Madonna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mariana goes to school.

Autumn 1970

Mari looked at herself in the mirror, watching her reflection as she made a small turn, just trying her best to convince herself that she looked alright. Her hands smoothed over the freshly pleated fabric of her long red skirt, tending to the fabric just one more time to make sure that it was immaculate. The white short-sleeved dress shirt was tucked as neatly as she could manage into the waistband of the skirt, but it always seemed to cause little imperfections, little seams or imperfections she just couldn't seem to work out no matter how many times she tried. After her outfit was finally pristine, or at least as good as she was going to make it, her eyes drifted back up to her hair for the fifth or six time, making sure that no stray hairs had fallen out of place since the last time she'd checked. Mari was so absorbed in her own beautification that these little nagging anxieties drowned out the sound of footsteps traveling up the stairs, keeping her from noticing that she wasn't alone until her mother finally spoke up and broke the silence.

"You almost ready sweetheart?" Her mother questioned, leaning casually against the doorframe with her arms lightly folded over her simple dress. She'd actually been standing there for some time, quietly watching as Mariana pulled on sweater after sweater only to take them off, increasingly dissatisfied and frustrated with each option. It wasn't difficult to tell what had to be going on in the younger woman's head, even if it was just because the woman's own feelings mirrored her daughter's. If she stepped any closer, she was sure she'd be able to hear the thump of the teen's rushed heartbeat in her chest, the same worried pounding echoing from behind her own ribs. She could only imagine how hard this must be for Mari, walking into the lion's den as it were, but it was a completely different form of agony to have to sit back with a refined smile and watch her do it.

Looking at her daughter's clothes, both those hanging in the closet and those discards which had been half-heartedly strewn across her bed, the other woman could see a variety of different outfits which Mari would likely agonize over before ultimately discarding as well. But for today, there was only one thing that she could wear. Now having her presence acknowledged, the older woman walked past Mariana, reaching into the closet to retrieve a long-sleeved pastel pink cardigan.

"I know I probably don't know what's popular among the kids your age today... but I think this should work." The smile on her lips appeared ever so slightly forced, but still filled with the same love and reassuring warmth that Mari had come to know and rely on. The cardigan itself was a familiar sight to Mariana, albeit something she hadn't worn in a long time; it had been a gift from her grandmother, one of the few things left around the house that could still trace its roots back to her. After her passing it had been hard to reconcile the feelings of loss with the bright cheery pastel of the sweater, but now, feeling a very different kind of weight pressing down on her, the sight of that pastel pink somehow managed to calm her racing heart even if only a little bit.

Mariana watched as her mother placed the now empty hangar back up in her closet before closing the gap between them, gently wrapping one arm around her shoulder to give the girl a comforting squeeze.

"You look just fine." The sound of her mother's voice was soothing, but even hearing it from within her familiar and comforting embrace, when she felt the plush fabric of the cardigan being placed into her hands, she found them to still be trembling.  
"Thanks Ma I'm just-"

"No no no." She interrupted.

"Don't you get in your head about it. You are beautiful, you are strong, and today is gonna be just fine." Her mother's tone was stern but loving, spoken loudly in her ear with the kind of confidence and certainty that both of them wished they were truly able to feel in that moment. Mari listened to her words and nodded, looking down at her feet as she started repeating the words in her head over and over. She tried to commit them to her memory and soul, engraving them like a mantra, but each time she repeated the words in her head all the other thought roiling around inside her head kept drowning them out anyway.

As if sensing the anxiety still bubbling away inside her, Mari's mother let out a soft sigh, cupping her daughter's face in her hand, forcing her to meet the woman's gaze.  
"You gotta say it out loud sweetheart." Mari felt her mother's thumb brush across her cheek as she spoke, as if already brushing away the tears she was trying so hard to hold at bay.  
"Gotta believe it too. They won't say it for you, so you have to say it to yourself." Mari had grown up listening to affirmations like this. For every hardship there was a poem, for every pain a promise. Her mother had always been close at hand with words of comfort and strength when she'd needed them, each time telling Mari to repeat the words she already knew deep down that she needed to hear for herself. Still, it wasn't like the words were always a substitute for the feelings they described, and sometimes, especially times like this, Mariana couldn't help but feel that at least some of the confidence her mother seemed to have in her was misplaced.

Mariana knew herself. She was shy and quiet. A bystander not a warrior. She shattered under the slightest bit of pressure. Beauty was one thing, but strength just simply wasn't a word that Mari would ever use in conjunction with herself. Internally she wished she was able to be like her mother. She wished she could meet people's expectations of her. Maybe if she could do that, she'd be able to say those words aloud with any kind of real confidence, maybe she'd actually be able to believe that today really would end up being just fine.  
"I am beautiful... I am strong... and today is gonna be just fine." She stumbled over the words, trying to inject them with the same confidence and feeling of certainty that her mother had, but fell short and only just managed to say them at all. Her mother gave her a semi-forced smile, knowing form experience that when she was like this that this was the best she was going to get out of her daughter. Instead of pushing the issue she just kissed Mari on the forehead, hoping to offer just a bit of comfort to her, only to have the moment ended prematurely as they heard a voice calling for Mari from downstairs.  
"Mar, Holiday is here!"

With a small gasp Mari pulled away from her mother, darting to grab her bag from off her bed. The leather was worn, especially around the top handle and junction where the straps and

bag met, but it still functioned just fine for its purpose. Making for the door she paused just long enough to place a kiss on her mother's cheek before hurrying down the steps.  
"Wait Mari honey, your lunch! It's on the countertop!" Her mother called after her, descending the flight of stairs at a much slower and safer pace. The girl practically skidded to a halt, frantically pulling the cardigan on while juggling her bag and changing direction to the kitchen. Lunch in hand she raced back towards the door, giving her father a quick hug which was made slightly awkward by her full hands.

"Bye Ma, bye Papa. Love you guys!" Mari didn't look up as she spoke, hurriedly slipping on her flats before throwing open the front door only to be met with the sight of Holiday standing there ready to greet her with that casual yet infectious smile that she'd somehow already grown accustomed to. Just getting to be around him again seemed to ease some of the anxiety which had been plaguing her, even if only a bit. There was just something about him which made it difficult to hang onto negative emotions, like a bright ray of sunshine pushing the storm clouds away inside her head. It did strike her as strange that he'd have such an effect on her after only having known each other for one day but given how painful the knot in her stomach had been getting this didn't seem like the proper time to question anything.  
"Good morning Mr. Locke!" Holiday offered a polite nod to Mari's father.  
"Good morning to you as well Mrs. Locke." He added as the woman made her way to the foot of the stairs and into his line of sight, immediately receiving a bright saccharine smile from the redhead.

"Are you ready to go?" Pleasantries out of the way, Holiday directed his attention back to Mariana, extending one hand in a silent offer to carry her bag. Handing the bag off to him with a nod and a smile, Mari tugged the thin cardigan tighter closed around her shoulders, feeling a sudden bit of shill as she followed her neighbor to the light blue challenger parked in the Locke's driveway. Holiday moved around to the passenger side of the car, opening her door for her and placing her bag in the back seat. It wasn't until Mari had taken her seat and situated herself that he closed the door, jogging back around the car to the driver's side, offering one last wave farewell to her parents before climbing in and taking off towards school.

As they drove Mari couldn't help but feel that something was wrong. Perhaps it was just her residual anxiety speaking, but the closer they got to the school the more and more subdued and quiet Holiday seemed and the less and less he looked like... well, Holiday. The day before, even when her own anxiety and awkwardness had led to her being overly quiet and weird about things the redhead had still made it his mission to fill the silences jokes or questions or obscure trivia about a great many things that had no other apparent value other than just trying to keep her talking. Now, silence was almost deafening, not even the grumble of the engine loud enough to distract from the unexpected lack of conversation.

Maybe he was just tired...

That had to be it, even the most bright and cheery people could get tired sometimes. Mariana wasn't about to push him to talk about it, but it did feel extremely weird that he'd

become so quiet and almost sullen after having been so lively only moments earlier at her front door. She fiddled with the fabric of her skirt between her thumb and forefinger, trying to ground herself as she thought about where she was headed at this moment, knowing that at this point just getting inside her own head was the most dangerous place she could be. Fortunately, some noise did come along to occupy her as Holiday reached out to turn the radio on low. Immediately the tense silence of the car was replaced by the upbeat and bouncy tunes of the Beatles, a group which Mari had always enjoyed, and who's catchy and lively tunes were just what she needed in that moment.

Lady Madonna, children at your feet 

Wonder how you manage to make ends meet

It was almost funny how the upbeat tune was so out of place in this car right now. Almost. However, before she could contemplate the cosmic irony of a Beatles song, the school came into view where it instantly demanded the entirety of her attention. Seeing it so close brought a feeling of reality to the situation, only causing her anxiety to skyrocket as Holiday turned the car off into the parking lot. Looking out the window she could see other people running around or talking and laughing at their cars, all just going on like everything was normal, which for them it likely was.

The car came to a stop as Holiday pulled into his spot, the hum of the engine coming to a stop as he turned off the car. There was another moment of prolonged silence before the redhead rested his hands on the steering wheel, looking at it intently for a moment before tearing his gaze away to look at Mari instead. Unlike before when he looked at her with a smile absolutely overflowing with an inner warmth, this time his face was static and unreadable, an unfamiliar and unsettling mask.  
"Okay... so... I don't think tha-...." As he spoke the boy's voice trailed off, that mask cracking slightly into a pained expression as he tried to force himself to speak. The sudden speech and its lack of confusion gave Mari pause as she tried to make sense of what he could be saying, all of the nervous energy inside her bubbling up and causing her to let out a soft chuckle despite herself.  
"What? You alright Holly? I didn't hear any of that" She reaching into the back seat to pull her bag up and into her lap, holding onto it as if doing so could somehow quiet the ever growing pit in her stomach.

Holiday sighed, leaning forward to rest the bridge of his nose agains the top of the steering wheel, taking a moment to try and collect himself. Mariana could tell that he was deeply troubled by something, and whatever he was trying to say wasn't something that was easy for him. She wasn't sure why, but the longer the silence stretched the more that pit in her gut just seemed to fill her with a hollow feeling.  
"Holly-"  
"We can't hang out at school." He spoken suddenly, cutting her off. His voice was firm yet strained, spoken too quietly to seem at all assertive, but that same deep strain in his voice said

that there was no room for argument. It was cold, and direct, and final. And so very unlike him. Then again, Mari had only known Holiday for one afternoon. Perhaps shed gotten ahead of herself, assuming too readily that he'd actually want to openly be her friend.

Holiday didn't want to be seen with her. The logical side of her understood this. The two of them being friends would probably be rough for someone like Holiday; with his looks and personality he was probably popular, and it was doubtful that any of his friends would appreciate him spending time with someone like... with someone like her.  
"Mariana... Mariana are you okay?" His voice pulled her back to the present moment, the boy having reached out as if to touch her shoulder, but quickly retracted his hand as if having thought better of it.

"O-oh..." Mariana couldn't think of what else to say, instead just looking down at her own hands, feeling her shoulders sag as the rest of her deflated.  
"Okay." She said, her grip unconsciously tightening around her bag. "I'll um... I'll go ahead and head in. I gotta get my schedule." Her voice sounded hollow even to her, her tone vacant and numb as she tried to process what was happening. She did her best to keep the expression on her face neutral, but on the inside, she was absolutely falling to pieces. The day had only just begun and already the first thing to go wrong had her shatter almost completely.

"Wait, Mari that's not what I-" Holiday tried to say something, but by that time Mari had already gotten out of the car, closing her door as carefully as she could so she didn't just slam it loud enough to get the entire parking lot's attention. She wasn't going to make it any more obvious that his words had hurt her. Putting her bag on her back and smoothing out her skirt she turned her attention to the building she would now be walking alone into. She'd seen Ruby Bridges on the television, she'd seen the scary mob that had threatened her with every step she took. Mariana knew that here things wouldn't be as obviously hateful, at least, not in the same way. There wouldn't be a mob, but there would definitely be strange looks and rumors whispered behind her back. She was prepared for the whispers and snide comments but knowing that they were coming and being prepared for them still wasn't enough to stop her hands from shaking as she dropped them down to her sides. Standing before the building Mari closed her eyes and took a deep breath, remembering her mother's words and tried to will them into being true.

You are beautiful...

She took another deep breath, gripping the straps of her leather bag and holding her head as high as she could as she began to walk. The anxiety had been pulling at her for a while, but now it was joined by another feeling as she reeled from Holiday's rejection.

You are strong...

She could feel the eyes following her as she walked. She could hear the whispers as if they were being played over a car stereo. Mariana didn't dare look away from the school building, not trusting herself not to run if she didn't keep herself focused. The door was at most

fifty yards away from her but under the intense glares from the people around her it felt like fifty miles.

And today...

At long last she reached the front door, crossing the threshold only to be greeted by the stares of the staff and other students, all watching her but none of them saying a single word. Looking past their empty expressions she found the campus map affixed to one of the bulletin walls, using its directions to find her way to the main office. Once there she sat down in one of the hard, unyielding chairs, her bag once again nestled protectively in her lap as she waited for someone to call for her. Time seemed to drag on as she waited, the few adults available all seeming to suddenly become busy as she sat down to wait for their attention. Finally, as if realizing that she weren't about to just simply go away, the secretary stood up and walked to the counter, looking at Mari through her thick half-moon spectacles.  
"Mariana Locke?" She asked in an almost bored sounding voice, speaking to her as she stapled together a stack of papers. Mari nodded, struggling to keep her anxiety from becoming too obvious as she rose to face the secretary. The woman looked her up and down before letting her expression shift into a smile which was at least trying to be welcoming but still appeared a bit forced.  
"It's nice to meet you honey, Mr. Miller is ready to see you." At least she was being polite, her honeyed tone a bit too thick to be completely genuine, but at least she was putting in visible effort to actually be civil and treat her like a student instead of an oddity. Now if only the rest of the people she met in school would take the same attitude to her presence. Clutching her bag tight to her chest for support Mariana nodded to the lady before making her way past her and through the swinging door which the secretary held open for her.

Today...

The first thing she saw when she walked through the door into the office was a man sitting behind a dark chestnut desk who only greeted her by gesturing for her to take a seat opposite the desk, something she moved rather quickly to do. This wasn't a very large or imposing man; looking like he might be perhaps five foot eight standing up, he had dark salt and pepper hair and a clean-shaven face. Still, as unassuming as his features were, something about his presence just seemed to ooze with authority. His hands were folded on his desk, his body still and rigid as he looked down at her with an intense stare and a deep frown which seemed like the kind of expression a man like this might have affixed to his face at all times.  
"Ms. Locke, I am glad to see you have found your way here." Again, he spoke to her in the same initially dismissive way the secretary outside had at first, reaching to the side of his desk to retrieve a single piece of paper.  
"These are your classes."  
Mari nodded as the man slowly pushed the paper across the table so she could pick it up, not handing it to her directly. Picking it up she became acutely aware of how it felt in her hands,

trying to be careful with it and not give away how she felt by accidently crumpling it due to her nerves.  
"... thank you, sir." She spoke softly, forcing herself to remain as upright and polite as possible.

"I do not think I need to remind you that you are our first colored student." He took a pause, maintaining eye contact as he let that point hang in the air as if it alone were enough to justify anything else he might say. "If you would like to be accepted on this campus, I would advise you to be on your best behavior. I do not know what your schooling in Richmond was like, but I do know that any shenanigans that were accepted there will not be tolerated here. Am I making myself clear?" His voice had this commanding, almost imperious sense to it, each word spoken deliberately, spoken with the conviction which only came from absolute certainty in one's position. When he reached the last sentence that intensity was only amplified, his gaze seeming to bore down into her, forcing her to almost unconsciously shrink back into her seat with each word. Mariana was very quick to nod.

Mariana had never caused any trouble back in her old school. She'd never caused and trouble out of school. She knew that on some level these people were going to expect the worst from her, but they had to have seen her absolutely pristine disciplinary record. Seeing her nod there was a loud pause before the man spoke again, breaking the tense silence which had built up between them.  
"You may leave." And like that it seemed that he had no more attention to spare her, looking down at some other papers on his desk, not even looking up at her as he raised one hand to casually shoo her from the office. Dismissal was a new kind of pain; she knew that these people were new to the idea of having colored students, but of all the different responses shed expected and already experienced, for some reason just being treated as though she didn't matter was the most insulting. Still, as hurt and indignant as she may feel, Mari didn't give any outward indication of how she felt, actually surprising herself with how calmly she rose, nodding respectfully to the man before turning and hurrying from the office.

Mari quickly collected the various books and materials provided to her by the school from the secretary, offering her a quick farewell stepping out of the office and beginning the task of finding out exactly where she was supposed to go. Standing there in the hall she was startled by the loud shrill sound of the bell ringing, alerting the students that they had mere minutes to get to their classes before they began. Her first class of the day was English, in hall C, room 115. Completely ignorant to the layout and surrounded by a crowd of swarming students, the map was only of middling use to her, Mari often getting dragged along by the flow of students, ignoring the bumps and glares she made her way to her class as swiftly as the packed hall would allow.

Despite a few setbacks and wrong turns along her way, Mari finally found room 115, making her way into the classroom, standing in the front as she tried to find an empty seat to claim as her own. The room itself held about twenty-five seats, not counting the teacher's desk, and most of them were left unoccupied as the other students were preoccupied with their own independent conversations or else simply staring unabashedly directly at her. As she continued to

look around the room, she felt her heart suddenly jump into her throat as her eyes landed on Holiday who was reading at his desk off to the right side of the front row. Almost on reflex, she felt herself step towards him, hand already starting to raise as she readied herself to call out to him, when she remembered what he'd said in the car, her feeling of relief immediately turning hollow as she became frustrated with herself for reacting like that to seeing him even after he'd made it clear that he didn't want her around him at school.

The teacher, who had been sitting at her desk in the far corner of the room, had evidently finally noticed her arrival, now watching her as she searched around for somewhere to sit.  
"Ms. Locke," The woman grabbed her attention, her voice likely something which might have sounded pleasant were it not for the thinly veiled exasperated scorn hidden within her tone.

"Since you are seeming to struggle finding a place to be. I will decide it for you, sit in the furthest chair to the back, next to the window." Again, there was that same dismissive tone again, the woman gesturing to the back of the room in the spot furthest from her before proceeding to pay her no further attention. Mari didn't say a word. She simply nodded and walked to the back of the class where the teacher had indicated, having to remind herself again that she couldn't afford to let loose with the retort which rested at the tip of her tongue, unwilling and unable to do anything which would give them any reason to justify their biased opinion of her. She had to remember this wasn't Richmond. Her teachers had been kind there. They weren't super sharp with their tone. They didn't try and make her feel like she was stupid in every comment they made.

Staying true to her plan to attempt to just get through her day without incident, she quietly took a seat in what she felt would likely become her new designated spot, readied her notebook, textbook, and lucky red pen, and waited patiently for class to begin. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on which direction her roiling anxiety tugged at the moment, the teacher didn't pay much attention to her the rest of the class. Mari would occasionally look in Holiday's direction but evert time she did she'd only find him absorbed in the lesson or writing something down in his notes. If he made any more to check on her or look back at her it never happened when she was looking. Later during the group work she worked alone, diligently and with admirable results, but alone. She wouldn't allow anyone to accuse her of not working hard.

After what seemed like a small eternity the bell finally rang, giving Mari the opportunity to pack her things up and hurry on to her next class of the day: math. She tried her best to navigate the halls while keeping her head down, pushing her way alone through the crowds which seemed to almost suffocate her as they crowded her out from all sides. When at last she did manage to arrive at her class, she was stopped by a man who she had to assume was the teacher. He was middle aged, mostly bald aside from the graying blonde hair which wrapped around his head and looked down at her with an expression which almost made her think back on her English teacher in a more favorable light. Putting his hand almost actually in her face the man commanded her to stop before she could enter the class, immediately angering the girl only to confuse her a second later as he quickly moved to retrieve a yard stick from his desk. As the

rest of the class watched on from their seats the teacher knelt down in front of her, holding the yard stick up to her skirt.  
"Your skirt is three inches too long." He quickly stood from his kneeling position, looking down at Mariana with a scowl as he informed her of her infraction in a tone that suggested that he'd more than expected to find one and was more than just a little pleased to have succeeded. Mariana just looked down at her skirt and then back at the teacher; she'd heard of rules about wearing skirts that were too short, but her conservative red skirt reached almost down to her ankles and she'd never had any problems with it at Richmond, or heard about anyone being punished for having a skirt be too long for that matter.

"S-sorry sir, I didn't know that there was a rule against skirts being too long..." She was at a loss for words, trying to resolve this situation without giving him any other excuse to fault her.  
"Yes, well I find quite often that you people don't know a lot." Came his smarmy reply, a sneer curling across his upper lip as an excessive amount of condescension dripped from each word. The other students already in their seats reacted to this statement like it was the funniest thing in the world, breaking out into peals of laughter which made Mari's blood boil and really tested her restraint. She was under no illusion about what was happening, this wasn't about school rules.  
He was being a jerk on purpose.  
"I'm writing you a slip for detention after school today." Turning his back on her the man returned to his desk, picking up a pack of pink slips which had already been waiting and ready atop his desk. As he began filling one of them out, she felt her stomach sink deeper into the floor. Detention? For a skirt that was too long! This was hardly fair! She wanted to argue back, to defend herself from this gross injustice, but she knew that would just make it worse. She'd get cited for breaking dress code, and for talking back to a teacher, and all on her first day.  
However, just to make matters worse, as he finished writing her the detention slip the bell rang, causing the man to look back up at her with a disgustingly smug grin.  
"Another one for not being in your seat by the bell. Tardy, which is what I should expect from someone like you. Now find a seat!" He sounded almost cheerful as he tore off another slip. Mariana's eyebrows furrowed together as her grip tightened almost dangerously on the books she held to her chest. Still, she didn't want to make things even worse for her, she'd known that she'd have to grin and endure some harassment and act proud in the face of adversity, but this man in particular seemed like he'd be all too happy to jump on the slightest mistake she might make no matter how small. So instead of saying anything she just hurried back down one isle of similarly smug and jeering faces to an empty seat in the back of the class. The teacher joined her moments later, placing down two pink slips of paper with a very satisfied expression which almost brought tears of rage and frustration to her eyes.

Don't cry Marianna, you aren't gonna cry in front of them! You know better than that! What did Mama say! You are beautiful, You are strong and today...

She couldn't bring herself to say that last part just yet, it hadn't been fine at all.

Holiday didn't want to be seen with her. The principal was rude to her. Nobody would work with her in class, and now she was in a class with a teacher that hated her even before he'd ever met her. She opened her book to the page he said and did her best to keep him from having to talk to her again.

After math the next class was P.E., but they didn't have clothes for her yet, so she had to wait it out on the bleachers while the rest of the class shot her glances occasionally as they went about their activities. As the third class of the day let out, she made her way to the lunchroom and saw there was a free table near the trash cans. It wasn't an ideal piece of real estate, but maybe it would provide her with the chance to finish her meal in peace without having to deal with anyone else. She walked over, keeping her head down and tried not to draw any more attention to herself as she set down her bag and her books. She had homework, so she decided she would get some work done while she ate so she'd look busy. Hopefully this would be enough to keep anyone from bothering her. Trying to settle into her seat as best she could, Mari opened up the lunch her mother had made to see a turkey and cheese sandwich, a granola bar, and a small bottle of water. She usually didn't eat much of lunch, never having much of an appetite, but today she found it to be completely non-existent. So instead of eating she elected to put her food back in the bag, instead sipping from her water bottle as she started setting up for her homework. She just wanted to keep her head down and wait for the bell to ring so she could go back to class and let this day end as fast as possible. Or at least that had been the plan until she was distracted by the sound of a familiar voice from not too far away.

"Come on guys! Not today!" Following the sound of the voice Mari looked over towards the entrance to the cafeteria where she saw Holiday being pulled by the collar out of the cafeteria by a couple of jocks.  
Wait was... was Holiday being bullied?  
"Stop being so loud, fairy boy!" Mari found herself unconsciously shaking her head. There was no way that this was actually happening.

No, no.

When he'd told her that he didn't want to be around her at school it had probably been for a good reason. It'd probably make whatever he was going through worse. Besides, it wasn't like she could help, if she tried she'd just end up failing and get pushed around again like she'd been all day, and even if she managed to do something, the only thing which was likely to happen was that she'd get in trouble somehow. So rather than doing something about it, she just looked back at her homework, deciding that it wouldn't do any good to stick her neck out even further than it already was. Even so, as she put her pencil to paper, she couldn't write anything. The only thing running through her head was how horrible it had felt just an hour and a half ago to be harassed in front of all those people. She'd just wanted somebody to stand up and say something, they didn't even have to stop it, they just had to be there to say one thing that wasn't awful, or just try and comfort her.

Damn it!

She couldn't just sit by and let him go through whatever was about to happen alone, even if he hadn't wanted to extend the same courtesy to her. With an exasperated sigh and the felling that she'd regret doing what she was about to do, Mari packed her things into her bag as quickly as possible. She stood from the table and left the cafeteria in a hurry, ignoring the looks she got as she skidded to a stop in the hall outside, trying to figure out which direction they were most likely to have went. Three hallways later she was out of breath, bending over and gripping her knees as she stopped running to take another moment to strain her senses for any evidence of where Holiday and those dumb football jocks had gone.

"H-Hey! Stop! Guys please!"

She turned her head towards the men's restroom just a few meters further down the hall, hearing the toilet flush followed by a series of shouts and jeers. Mari took one more deep breath, part of her still trying to talk her out of doing something stupid, but she'd come this far and wasn't about to let her own fears stop her now, consequences be damned. Setting her bag down outside the bathroom her pushed the door open and stepped inside, her hands already balled into fists.  
"Put him down and leave him alone!" Her voice was strong and clear, carrying a level of command and confidence which honestly astounded her, as well as got the attention of the jocks. There was a pause as the two much larger men turned to look at her, only to then start laughing. "Well look at that doofus! Your little negro came to protect you!" The blonde one snickered, letting go of a very wet looking Holiday, his hair matted, and his shirt darkened around his shoulders from the dripping water.  
"M-Mari! Get out of here!" Holiday sputtered, trying to look at her but having some difficulty as the brown-haired jock still held him firmly by the collar. Mariana chose to simply ignore him, her head held high with a confidence which came seemingly from nowhere that she'd lacked earlier that day.

"You heard him, beat it negro!" The blonde stepped away from Holiday, walking right up to Mari and staring her down, trying to size her up. Ordinarily she'd be terrified, but she'd been scared and anxious and frustrated all day, and in that moment, he didn't faze her in the slightest, the shorter girl defiantly meeting his gaze, refusing to let him intimidate her.  
"Not till you let. him. go." She didn't know where this confidence had come from. At any moment she expected whatever madness had come over her to pass, leaving her in a very bad situation. She knew how she'd react then, how she normally would have reacted in this situation. She'd have cowered and ran away the second they looked at her. Maybe it was her finally having had it with this place and how she'd been treated today. Maybe it was her feeling an obligation to help Holiday because she knew how awful it felt to be bullied. Mariana didn't know, and in that moment, she didn't care, not worrying about what would happen when she came to her senses, only concerned with what was right in front of her. And as she stared down the jock, he seemed

to take a moment to consider her, starting to laugh again as though she'd said something to amuse him.

"Oh really? You've got a lot of nerve girly." He sneered, leaning down so he could look more closely at her.

"You have NO idea. Now let him go." The proximity wasn't going to scare her, she wasn't about to let herself get pushed around by one more person.  
"Yeah, well what if I just beat you both down?" His expression never changed, the blonde just eyeing her with that same amused, coy little grin, as if a predator toying with his food. That at least managed to get to her, the notion causing her blood to run cold as she realized that he was right. If he wanted to he could just beat them both up; yes it was a two on two, but something told her that her and Holiday wouldn't be enough to so much as scratch the two of them. She couldn't fight her way out of this... but that didn't mean she was helpless.

"Then I'd have to tell the reporter who wants to do the story on my first day here that..." Her gaze flicked down to the name sewn into the breast of his letterman jacket.  
"Brent Walker likes to hit women." She narrowed her eyes further, putting on a knowing smile as she continued to stare him down. Brent's face was blank for a moment, seeming lost in thought as he contemplated her threat. After the moment passed however, he straightened up, looking back at his friend he gestured towards the door with a flick of his chin as if gesturing for them to leave. The other jock let Holiday go, the redhead falling back to the floor with a dull thud as the jock made his way out. Brent remained for a few moments, maintaining eye contact with Mari as if expecting her to blink first. When she didn't, he followed after the other jock, brushing past Mari on his way to the door.

"I like you." He wore that same predatory, smug grin on his lips.  
"The feeling isn't mutual." Mari spat as she pushed past him on her way to the slowly recovering Holiday.

She had no idea what kind of Pandora's box she'd opened with her decision, but right now she wasn't going to worry about what could happen, being more preoccupied by what already was right in front of her. As the door shut behind the jocks behind her she fell to her knees beside the battered and wet redhead, reflexively stripping off her cardigan as she used it to help dry the boy off. Holiday didn't look at her. The water from the toilet just dripped off his hair and onto his pants as Mari dried him off.

"You shouldn't have done that." Hearing him finally speak made her pause, biting her lower lip she had to take a deep breath before she was able to respond.  
"I know." She said simply, focusing more on trying to use the cardigan like a towel, a task it wasn't very well suited for, as she tried to dry his hair.

"I told you we shouldn't be together at school..." His voice was still quiet, more timid than she'd ever heard it; and still his gaze remained fixed on the floor, unable to meet her own.

That response made Mari frown, pulling the cardigan off his head as she glared down at him.

"Are you serious? I risk my neck trying to save you and that's what you've got to say to me?! WOW!" All of the anger and frustration which had been building up all day was coming to a boil. She gritted her teeth as she practically growled at him, resisting the urge to start shouting and potentially draw unwanted attention.

"Wait. Mari-"  
"Oh no you don't you don't! I'm mad and I saved your ass so you're gonna listen to me!" She said, rising from her kneeling position beside him so she could stomp her foot on the ground while looking down on him. Her expression was beyond livid, and while he did finally look up at her as she stood, he immediately flinched as his eyes met hers.  
"Do you have any idea how crappy my day was? My supposed friend bailed on me!" she began, throwing an accusatory glare his way.  
"The principal called me 'colored'-" Mari began to pace back and forth, throwing her hands up in the air out of pure rage, finding it harder and harder to keep both her temper and volume under control.  
"Mari-"  
"My english teacher sat me in the back of the class and made me work alone! On a group project might I add!"  
"Mari-"

"The math teacher gave me two days of detention cause my skirt was too long, and then made me tardy stopping me at the door! Oh, and I had to eat near the trash cans and-" "MARI!" After having tried to interject a number of times, the boy finally got to his feet, speaking up louder this time and finally managed to get her attention.

"WHAT!" She seethed, her attention snapping back to him as she stopped pacing in order to glare at the taller redhead. There was only a moment's pause as Holiday took a breath, looking at her with a rather serious expression.  
"I... I didn't tell you to leave me alone at school because I didn't want to be seen with you." He tried to explain, which only made Mari angrier.  
"Oh REALLY? Then tell me Holiday, what was the reason?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest, looking at his expectantly, already thinking of a response to whatever half-baked excuse he tried to come up with.

"I didn't want you to...to have an even harder time with people because you were around me." He finished with an almost reluctant sigh, sliding back against the bathroom stall, his expression very difficult to read. It wasn't like in the car when it was an emotionless mask, instead it was guilty, it was hurt, scared, pained, and something else which she couldn't place. That alone was enough to draw a pause from the girl, forestalling whatever she might have said next. Instead of continuing to vent at him, Mari found herself walking over towards him, sitting down beside him against the stall door, her hands resting in her lap as she stared across the way at the at the row of sinks on the opposite wall.

"Why?" 

Holiday was the nicest person she'd met here, baring the unfortunate events of that morning he'd been nothing but warm and accepting. Hearing the simple question Holiday

turned to glance at her briefly before turning away, once more either unwilling or unable to meet her gaze as he spoke.  
"I'm... I'm the school's resident fairy..." He spoke so quietly that it took Mari a moment to register what he'd said, and even then it took another few moments for the meaning to finally finish processing, but when it did she immediately felt her eyes go wide as shock registered over her face.

"Oh! You're Gay!? I mean... I won't judge you if you are-"  
"No! I'm not... it's not... well kinda. I don't know... they're half right I guess. Honestly, it's not the title that bothers me, it's not like they're totally wrong anyways. What bothers me is how far they take it. They can't just let it be, or call me names and be done with it, instead they have to... well..." He trailed off, gesturing to his damp clothes and matted hair.

In that moment Mari had absolutely no idea what to say to him. It was a massive shock to say the least, learning that he was... or at least kind of was... she didn't fully understand what it was actually, but she did understand now why someone as nice as him would be subjected to this kind of treatment. Even knowing though, she didn't feel anything different towards him. Mari decided rather quickly not to dwell on this new confession and instead speak to the fear which had prompted his well-intentioned but misguided attempt to help her.  
"Well I think it was sweet that you wanted to protect me... I really do but..." She sighed, trailing off as she let her head fall back to thud softly against the wall behind her.  
"But as long as I look like this" She gestured vaguely to her own face.  
"I'll always have a hard time. I can handle it as long as I have a friend to vent to...dummy." She said, the tension venting from her in the form of soft laugh as she reached out to gently push his shoulder in a more playful gesture. Swaying back perhaps a bit more exaggerated that normal from her shove, the redhead found himself joining in her laughter. It was a brief sound, but one which had more of the genuine warmth she'd gotten to see the day before.  
"Well I mean, now I know that." He shrugged, finally turning more fully to properly look at her. "Whaddya mean?" She met his gaze, frowning slightly in confusion. That response only prompted Holiday to let out another, more mirthful chuckle before gesturing at the door.  
"Did you already forget you stood up to Brent?! Like not even two minutes ago!" He laughed, leaning back against the wall, his shoulder touching hers as he let out another laugh at the slightly zoned-out expression which had adorned her face.

"Oh... right... honestly I was one hundred percent sure he was gonna just beat us both up and go." This time it was her gaze that shifted away from his, falling instead to her hands resting in her lap as she didn't want to admit that other thoughts had almost made her forget such a monumental thing. As she spoke Holiday just stared at her, one eyebrow raising as he gave her a slightly slack expression.  
"You thought that... and you did it anyway?!" He wasn't sure whether to call her brave or an idiot, but something in his voice suggested a newfound level of awe and appreciation.

"Yeah... honestly I was terrified but... but I didn't want to see you go through that too long. I can't stop my bullies... but I can try and stop yours." She said as she looked at her shoes,

clicking the toes of them together. Holiday nodded along in response, fidgeting with his hands in his lap before offering Mari another smile.  
"Well you can tell that reporter that by some miracle, you didn't get beat down." He chuckled again, softer this time. As he spoke, he reached up, running his fingers through his darkened copper hair as he tried to push it out of his face and coax it into some other more tenable configuration.

At that Mari had to cover her mouth with one hand, her shoulders shaking as she desperately resisted the urge to break out laughing. This response only served to confuse the boy who looked incredulously at the trembling girl beside him until it suddenly clicked in his head. "There is no reporter... is there?" He let out a drawn-out sigh, his expression somewhere between disbelief and amusement.  
"Haha! No! Not at all!" Finally, she couldn't hold it back any longer, the girl laughing loudly in relief from having escaped as much as from the humor of having tricked the jock. After a moment Holiday joined in, the two of them sitting together on the floor of the men's bathroom, just laughing.  
"You are... You're really not the scaredy-cat I pegged you to be." As their eyes met again Mari was once again greeted by that same saccharine smile that she'd already found herself growing all too accustomed to. Mari let out another giggle, unable to help it this time as she looked at him, just slowly shaking her head.

"No... I think I'm just good in a crisis." She shrugged, shifting her position to sit cross-legged on the floor, turning now to face him more directly.  
"Look... Holiday." She began, immediately garnering the redhead's full attention.  
"For now on, I'll tell you what I can and can't deal with. I wanna be your friend, and not in secret. No more hiding okay?" She asked, her tone gentler now that she'd managed to alleviate at least some of the frustration she'd been carrying around with her.

"Alright, I won't make decisions like where and when to be around each other without your approval." He nodded calmly, running his fingers back through his hair with one hand as he offered her a guilty smile, extending his other hand out towards her.  
"Finally!" She said, tone halfway between playful amusement and exasperation as she reached out in turn and took his hand to seal the deal.

And today....Is gonna be just fine.


	4. Autumn Leaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes on and changes, but one thing remains the same.  
> Life remains unfair.

Life tends to speed by at an unbelievable pace when one doesn't have to spend each day dreading what the next one might bring. This fact became ever more apparent to Mariana as she and Holiday grew closer, the days seeming to blend together the longer they were together, her outlook on life taking on a generally rosier hue. Now this wasn't to say that things were perfect for either of them by any stretch of the imagination, but just having someone to lean on and talk to was enough to make things bearable.

The bullying Holiday got for being, as Brent had so eloquently put it, a fairy, didn't stop, but it did at least deescalate over the following weeks once the two stopped hiding their friendship from the public. With the redhead spending most of his time by Mariana's side the two were even further ostracized by their peers, not wanting to attract the kind of attention that more 'hands on' discrimination would incur, the vitriol the two faced from the other students escalated into physical violence far less often.

With something else not to focus on, Mariana quickly learned to keep the glares and whispers from occupying the forefront of her mind. She developed a tolerance to the snide comments, the offhanded remarks, and the thinly veiled insults; within a matter of weeks simply ignoring those who disliked her came just as naturally as breathing. Of course, none of the other students or staff went out of their way to make life easy for her, but she was determined to show them all that she was more than capable of rising to the occasion no matter what they threw at her. Despite their varying degrees of open bias against her, Mariana's teachers did actually score her fairly for the most part, and her academic prowess earned her, if not their respect, at least their begrudging acceptance of her. Her English teacher actually allowed her to work with the other students when there was group work, no longer suspecting that she would just leech off of their work; and while her math teacher was still acting like an insufferable jerk who often went out of his way to act as obnoxiously as possible in an effort to humiliate her in front of the class, even he began giving her some form of reluctant praise when she got things right.

As for her relationship with Holiday, the two of them now spent nearly all of their spare time together. However, due to their particularly unusual and complicated friendship, having someplace where they could regularly get together without the threat of being harassed wasn't very easy. At first they tried using one of their houses, but neither could get anywhere near the other's room without receiving a disapproving reminder of how inappropriate it was for two people their age of opposite genders to be alone together in a bedroom. The common areas around the houses received too much traffic, and anywhere outside that thin bubble of safety just drew too much negative attention if they hung around for too long. This meant that rather than settling down in one spot, the two fell into the habit of taking regular walks around the neighborhood and the nearby woods.   
Just as they'd gotten into the habit of taking these long afternoon outings, the two finally found what they had given up looking for. It was a small babbling stream not too deep into the trees near their neighborhood, close enough to get there and back with relative ease, but far enough in so that the drees drowned out some of the sounds of civilization from the town. Upon seeing the quiet bank, the tall shaded canopy of the trees, and the crystalline clear water of the stream, Mari knew that the two of them had found someplace special. In a burst of childlike excitement she immediately declared the spot their official 'hideout', and immediately talked Holiday into driving her to the hardware store to buy what they needed to build a small little base for themselves.  
With absolutely no experience with carpentry or woodwork, the resulting creation looked like something which had been lovingly and painstakingly assembled by someone without access to opposable thumbs. Even so, it was something that the two of them had made together, and despite its questionable integrity they were both proud of it. They came back to that spot every day after school once they'd finished their homework, sloughing off the expectations and restraints of their lives and simply enjoying the other's company. Sometimes they acted more like children than adults, rolling up the legs of their pants and wading out into the stream in search of some kind of treasure; other times they were more relaxed, sitting in their little shed with Holiday's head resting in Mariana's lap while she read aloud from one book or another which she had procured from the school's library, they'd have to stop occasionally as an unruly lock of hair broke free and fell in front of her eyes, Holiday always reaching up to fix it with a soft smile and a teasing remark about rubber bands. They would stay until nearly sundown basking in the soft sound of the stream before heading home, only to do it all again the next day.

Come Halloween, their own private celebration would have seemed almost mundane to most. Rather than trick-or-treating or attending the party of some classmate, the two pitched a tent in Mariana's backyard. Holiday would bring a battery operated radio and some salt-water taffy and the two of them would spend the night listening to scary stories on a local broadcast, occasionally glancing nervously out the flap of the tent into the darkness when any sound reached their ear, but more often than not just laughing at how cheesy they were.

Then it was Thanksgiving, and although their families celebrated separately, the two made time to see one another, each bearing some special treat which they'd made for the other. As it turned out, Holiday was more of a cook than she was, something evidenced by the lopsided peach cobbler she'd presented to him in exchange for a small tray of immaculate looking lemon squares. Despite her embarrassment at the asymmetry of their gifts, Holiday very nearly ate himself sick eagerly gobbling it down just to prove to Mari that he liked her cooking.

Months moved by like weeks, all blurring together until all the leaves had already turned and fell, the last moments of Autumn fading away into the cold of Winter.

Since snow never seemed to survive all the way to the ground in this particular part of California, the two needed to rely on the calendar and the rapidly falling thermometer to tell them that it was nearly Christmas. They tried to keep making their regular trips out to the secluded little stream that both of them had come to think of as their own, but as the temperature continued to drop the two of them found the trip harder and harder to make, with Holiday at one point resembling a chihuahua as all his insulating layers of clothing failed to protect him from a particularly brisk wind. Ultimately though, Mariana was the one who ended up calling for a temporary end to their visits to the stream until Spring. Soon after their forest walks stopped they found themselves having to spend time apart for the first time in almost three months; Holiday had to leave the country to visit family in Scotland for a few weeks, so in light of the impending holidays they decided to exchange gifts a week earlier than planned.

Mari's gift to Holiday was a long, dark green scarf that while its design and craftsmanship was questionable, was far warmer than any of the other more fashionable decorative scarves her owned. In return, Holiday gave Mari a pastel purple scrunchy, a gift that confused both sets of parents who were present for the exchange, but delighted Mariana who referred to it as the most perfect gift she'd ever received. After a week of premature merriment and jokes about how she wasn't going to miss Holiday, the two shared a brief yet emotional goodbye before having to celebrate their Christmas and New Years' half a world apart. Even this short span of time seemed to reinforce the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder, for when the day finally came when the Weiss family returned, Holiday hadn't stepped two feet from the gate before Mariana threw herself against him, hugging the boy like she hadn't seen him in years.  
After that, the two of them simply fell back into their normal rhythm, the days blurring by with that same rosy glow.

That Spring Holiday turned nineteen.

It was in that Spring that they finally made their return to their stream, setting out to renovate and improve their "second home". It was in that Spring that Holiday had to spend four hours scouring the forest floor for Mari's purple scrunchy after it had slipped off her wrist. It was in that Spring that Mariana opened up the front door to the Weiss home and saw Holiday holding that small slip of paper with an expression on his face that she'd never seen before.   
She remembered the questions she'd been filled with in that moment, both those she asked and those that she'd been too afraid to.   
She remembered each time that he didn't answer her, and the look on his face each time he avoided looking her in the eyes.  
She remembered how it felt to catch him in his arms when he couldn't walk, holding him close as they shook from the force of their sobs, although which of them the tears belonged to, she still couldn't say. In that moment she didn't have any words of comfort or support, her mind unable to focus on anything other than that small slip of paper laying crumpled on the carpeted floor beneath them.

His number was ninety-three.

Summer settled in not long after, time slipping by now a bit too quickly in Mari's eyes. Even so, life went on as it always had. They went to prom together, they graduated together, they continued to make their regular pilgrimages out to that secluded stream. They tried to keep living life like everything was normal, but both of them could see a sword hanging over their heads, the thin twine holding it aloft growing more and more frayed with each passing day.  
Try as they might, every moment they spent together was spent in the shadow of that sword, neither of them ever able to completely forget that it was there.

When at last the time came she saw him off, pulling Holiday into a tight embrace which, like the handshake they'd had upon first meeting, lasted far longer than it was supposed to. Unsurprisingly, just as with that first time, Holiday didn't seem to mind one bit. Even after he had pulled away, hoisting that duffel onto his back, she could still feel the phantom warmth of his cheek against hers, feel the tickle of his breath on her neck as he spoke those final words to her.

"Mari, there's something important I need to tell you when I get home. So, wait for me okay? I'll be back before you know it."

Perhaps those words had been meant to fill her with a sense of hope and anticipation, but Mari had read enough dime store romances and adventures that they only left her feeling hollow, listening to them echo around in her mind like the constant dripping of water in a large cavern.

The Autumn leaves had started to turn and fall. With them her newly learned normal life had as well.

Time had started to pass much slower again. Mari had found work at a small local diner, and while the customers would be a bit short with her at times, the pay was at least decent. Her plan was to save up the money she earned so that when Holiday came back the two of them would be able to go off to college together. After all, even though he was gone, she still received letters from Holiday almost every week, an event which quickly became an anchoring point for her, something to look forward to and help her get through the particularly dark days.

On more than one occasion she'd been known to get over excited when a letter came, already composing a letter in reply before she'd even finished reading the words on the page.  
"You have a smile like sunshine." Mrs. Weiss had remarked to her once after a new letter had arrived, watching her tear it open so frantically she almost tore the precious paper within. Almost every Friday afternoon without fail a new letter would arrive at around three o'clock, and knowing this, Mari became something of a regular fixture at her neighbor's house, showing up every week like clockwork to join Mrs. Weiss in their living room, both eagerly awaiting the day's mail. Every Friday she would join the older woman for tea or coffee, or a late lunch, and almost every week her patience would be rewarded with a thin envelope bearing her name on it in a very familiar handwriting.

On this Friday however, something felt off. The mailman was running late, by this point it was well past three o'clock, the sky having darkened until only a tapestry of faded pastel hues marked the horizon, and still there was no sign of anything from the post, let alone a letter for her. Despite the lateness of the hour Mariana couldn't bring herself to leave, she told herself that there must have been an issue from the post office, that the postman had been delayed, and that the moment she went home he would round the corner onto their street, Holiday's letter in hand, and she wouldn't be there to read it. Even so, the uneasy silence which had settled into her bones with each passing tick of the clock filled her with a deathly chill that even the mint tea Mrs. Weiss had given her couldn't dispel. Looking out the parlor windows into the progressively darkening sky, neither woman spoke, just sitting and waiting in silence for the mail until the sound of an approaching car broke their trance.

Unfortunately, the sound was not that of the mailman approaching. Instead they say Mr. Weiss's car approaching, the vehicle skidding to a stop in front of the house, drawing the attention of both of the women inside. Rising up and making their way quickly to the window, both women could see Mr. Weiss and Mariana's father practically sprinting up to the front door.  
"Mariana, can you get the door for them?" Mrs. Weiss looked down at her, doing a commendable job of trying to keep her own voice steady even as her concern shown evidently across her furrowed brow. Nodding silently, Mari left the room, reaching the front door at the same time as the men reached the porch.  
"Mar, we need to go." Seeing her standing in the doorway her father gestured for her to follow him, his voice and face strained in an expression which Mari couldn't quite read, but which still made the deep chill she'd been feeling seep even deeper into her bones. Something in his voice managed to convey just how deathly serious he was, usually being a man to take even the darker moments with a smile and a can-do attitude; so if he was making such a grim face, she knew better than to waste time asking questions whose answers she wouldn't be receiving.  
"We'll meet you two at the car in fifteen minutes." Her father looked Mr. Weiss in the eyes in a silent confirmation before taking Mari by the arm and hurrying her away from the house and back across the yard to their own.  
The front door to their home was thrown open before they even touched the handle. Her mother stood in the doorway looking winded, like she'd been running around.  
"Mari! Thank god you're back. I have your bag half packed on your bed upstairs, go get dressed in clothes that you can move in. Nothing bright, we wanna blend in, not be cute, you understand?" Her mother was speaking quickly, the words almost seeming to blur together as she stepped up to her, cupping her daughter's face in her hands like she'd done many times before. Usually when she did, Mari could look at her mother's expression and feel calmed, but this time the only thing she saw when she looked into her mother's eyes was the same look of fear and confusion that she was sure were visible in her own. With one final moment's hesitation, looking like there was so much she wanted to say but couldn't find the words for in that moment, the woman let Mari go, sending her up the stairs to quickly go finish packing and change her clothes.   
Mariana ran up the steps, drowning out the sound of her mother reciting to her father a list of what they'd already packed, and began changing as quickly as she possibly could. She didn't understand in the slightest what was going on, and while it didn't seem like her parents would be telling her anything any time soon, the panic in their eyes was all she needed to understand this wasn't a joke.

She tried to dress as closely as she could to what her mother had told her, trading her more colorful dress for a pair of dark azure jeans, a grey shirt, and a black sweater. Even without a constant reminder she could still feel the urgency from her parent's words, and more than once almost knocked something off her dresser in an attempt to pull her clothes on as fast as possible. Once dressed she pulled on her tennis shoes, quickly tying them into double knots before rushing to her drawers to search for anything important to her she could fit in her bag with whatever time still remained. All it took was the sight of her disheveled reflection in the mirror to remember what she was missing, the girl running to her nightstand and pulling open the drawer to reveal a mostly empty space occupied by two lone items resting at the bottom. The first item was a worn looking pastel purple scrunchy, and the other resting beside it was the photograph of her and Holiday they'd had taken while at prom, two smiling faces looking up at her from the glossy paper with a kind of excitement and warmth that felt almost alien to her in that moment.

"Mari! Honey come down it's time to go!'' The sound of her mother's voice brought her back to the present, Mari grabbing the contents of the drawer and throwing them into her bag, throwing it on over her shoulder as she raced down the stairs two at a time. By the time she reached the bottom floor her parents were already waiting for her, each carrying a large overnight bag, a small suitcase held in her father's hands just like when the three of them went out of town for some time alone together as a family. Though this moment didn't feel like the others before it.  
"Are you ready to go?" Her father turned to her, tossing her a pillow from the couch with one hand.  
"Y- yeah. what's going on?" Mari tried hard not to trip over her own words, she hadn't even really meant to ask, but at this point her heartbeat was thundering in her ears and she couldn't hold herself back any longer.  
"We'll explain in the car-"  
Mari's heart skipped a beat as the loud blare of a siren broke the otherwise unsettling quiet of the night outside. Hearing it, she let out in involuntary gasp, jumping a little in fright as she looked between her parents with an ever-mounting sense of panic and confusion.  
"Shit! Get to the car!"   
Mari's father never swore.   
Picking up the last of the bags, he all but pushed the two out of the house, not even bothering to lock the front door as they raced back across the yard, seeing the Weiss couple leaving their house at almost the exact same time. Without a word spoken between them, the five piled into her neighbor's brown station wagon, Mari in the center between Mrs. Weiss and her Mother. As the car started, she couldn't help but glance back at the driveway, seeing that bright blue charger resting quietly under its large black tarp.  
She had a sinking feeling this was the last time she would see it but didn't get to dwell on the thought for long as the car grumbled to life, taking them off down the street, the charger getting smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.  
Sitting there between the two older women Mari looked down at her feet, just focusing on every detail of that moment, because, while she didn't know why, she couldn't help but think that that moment marked when her life as she knew it ended.


	5. It's Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Escaping the suburbs

All around them windows were lighting up, each household roused from its tranquil night by the hellish blare of the air raid sirens which seemed to swallow up everything else. Above them, Mari could see the pale beams of searchlights streaking across the slate ceiling of the clouds, lighting up the night in some garish imitation of the day. Still, the car continued to careen off into the night, her father not once taking his foot off the gas pedal. As the houses of her neighbors flashed past outside the window faster than she could process them, a thousand different questions were each vying for attention in her head; but one question kept crowding out the rest, like a black hole sucking in all the light around her, making it impossible to focus on anything else other than the growing black cloud of fear and confusion she felt pressing down on her shoulders: What on Earth was going on?

It occurred to her that there was a possibility that they were under attack, what other reason could there be to explain the sirens and the lights? But why now? Why here of all places? Each question only raised more, and none of them seemed to provide any answers, only serving to darken that already thick cloud weighing down on her. Instinctively she reached for her mother's hand, squeezing it tightly as she tried to derive any comfort or clarity from the contact, but there was nothing. Her mother wouldn't even look at her, their gaze fixed on some faraway point in the distance, their jaw fixed in a steady line. She was trying to put on a brave face, but it didn't help, if anything, seeing it made Mariana feel worse, like she was the least equipped to handle whatever was happening. Suddenly, she felt herself jerk back hard, pressing almost painfully back against Mrs. Weiss as the car took a turn way too sharply, ignoring a stop sign as it headed towards the freeway and out of town.

"Are you sure we should go this way Sam? The sirens are on, everyone else is going to be trying to make it out using the freeway too, we'll be like sitting ducks out there." Mr. Weiss didn't look up as he spoke, hunched over slightly as he fiddled with something in his lap that Mari couldn't quite see from her angle, only occasionally pausing to flick through the channels on the radio in an attempt to find something other than empty static.

"We don't have a choice! Gannon said we have to get there by sunrise or we're on our own."

"Then we need to take the back roads, we'll be exposed for a little bit, but we won't risk getting caught like everyone else!" Despite their situation, the two talked in such calm and level tones, working well even under the pressure of some imminent danger, a danger which no one had even attempted to explain to her yet. However, before she could even think of what question she should try and start with, Mr. Weiss finally seemed to find a usable channel because the incessant drone of the klaxons outside was suddenly broken by the addition of a slightly distorted male voice filling the car.

"Focus all efforts on evacuating the people we- OH MY GOD!" Whoever it was that was speaking, they seemed to be in the middle of issuing instructions. From the sound of it, it was likely some police or government broadcast, but Mari never got the chance to actually learn anything further from the brief directive because the voice was suddenly replaced by a shrill, high pitched whine. In that moment the fog of confusion cleared, but only because this horrible screeching had driven away any other thought, forcing her to cup her hands tightly over her ears in an attempt to block out the painful sound. She hunched over herself, bracing against both the noise and the sudden turbulence as the shock of the sound caused the car to swerve until her father was able to bring it under control again, her eyes shut tight and brow furrowed as if she could block out the fear and pain by willpower alone.

"Will you turn that thing off! They don't know what's going on! It isn't helping anyone!" Mrs. Weiss was shouting almost at the top of her lungs just to be heard, clutching at her own head as she gritted her teeth through the pain. Mr. Weiss was already in motion before she started talking, and by the time the woman had finished the screeching had been replaced by the relatively merciful sound of radio static and the blare of klaxons.

With the harsh sound gone, Mariana was able to slowly straighten herself, leaning back against the seat behind her as she took a moment to catch her breath, but rather than clarity, the brief reprieve only served to let that dark cloud settle down upon her again as she realized that the number of questions she didn't have answers to had only increased. A soft thud from the front of the car drew her attention back to the here and now however, and Mari finally got a good look at what Mr. Weiss had been working on as he set a large portable CB radio down on the dashboard in front of him. Continuing to manipulate the dials, the dull thrum of static finally cut out as the man seemed to find the channel he had been looking for. Mari watched as he unhooked the transceiver from the side, bringing it to his mouth so he could speak.

"This is W1, Family is in transit, do you copy G2?" Maybe everything just seemed to sound different as her ears readjusted from the assault of the radio feedback, but Mr. Weiss's voice sounded particularly loud as he tried to speak up enough to be heard over the constant drone of the klaxons outside; even so, as she felt her ears adjust another sound finally reached her over the cacophonous mix of noises, something which sounded almost like a small clap of thunder, faint and distant, or perhaps just drowned out by the sirens. Looking out the window however, it was indeed a cloudy night, the searchlights made that clear to see, but she couldn't see any signs of a storm.

As she thought on this, becoming momentarily distracted, the long silence in the wake of Mr. Weiss's words continued to stretch on until at last there was a short hiss of static and then a response.

"This is G2 We copy." The sound of another voice filling the car, this one not accompanied by a deafening screech, snapped Mari's attention back into focus, once again trying to make sense of the series of events she seemed to be trapped in. This voice, like the last one, was distinctly male, albeit much softer than she had expected.

Through the entire ordeal, from the moment her father had come sprinting up the steps of the Weiss residence, Mari had endured the fear and confusion that had been settling inside her. She'd told herself that they needed to hurry, that this was important, that she'd have her questions answered when things had calmed down, and that if she were just patient for a little bit longer everything would be okay. But this, none of this was okay, none of it was normal. Air raid sirens and searchlights meant they had to be under attack, but there was no roar of engines or the explosive sound of a bomb. They were evacuating yes, that made sense if there was a threat, but the way her father was acting and now this new voice coming from some bulky radio she hadn't known that either family had... it was quickly becoming impossible to simply hold back.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Even as she tried to keep her voice as calm and level as the other adults', Mari couldn't keep her own voice from cracking as she forced the question out, looking around frantically at the other four in the car. Her outburst was met with silence, no voices speaking up to be heard over the sirens and the soft hum of static over the idle connection of the radio, and neither of the women in the back with her were willing to meet her searching gaze.

"You can't keep me in the dark on this! What is going on? Is it the Russians?" Undeterred by their lack of responsiveness Mari continued. She didn't care if this was an inconvenient time anymore, she needed to know something, anything.

Again, she was met with silence, and was about to try again when her father finally spoke.

"It's not the Russians Mar..." Something about his words, the tone of his voice. It made Mari pause, a cold chill running up her spine. It was a departure from how he'd been speaking thus far, through the entire ordeal he'd done his best to remain calm and collected, taking charge so he could do what must be done to keep them safe, but for just this moment she heard something else in his words. Her father was a veteran of the Korean War, she'd heard the pain, the lingering fear, the trauma in his words when he'd talked about his time there, but she'd never heard him talk like this. There was a sort of hollow finality to his words, an emotion which she simply lacked a frame of reference to understand, but which chilled her to the very core of her being.

"Do you have any idea what it is?" On any other day the chill his words gave her might have dissuaded the girl from pressing, but the crushing weight of her anxiety forced her to continue; it didn't matter if the answer was something she didn't want to hear, it was something she needed to hear.

Once again, her question was met with silence, only this time it might have been less his willingness to respond, and more the sudden concentration that was needed as they were joined by other cars attempting to evacuate. They careened through intersections as fast as they could manage, ignoring the lights and signs, and Mari could see more than a few heaps of twisted steal and brick from where recklessness and desperation had finally caught up to some of the other drivers in their desperate attempt to flee. For a moment, Mari let herself forget her questions, instead clutching her mother's hand so tight her knuckles almost turned white. Of course they wouldn't be the only family with the idea to evacuate, everyone else would be out of their minds with fear and confusion too; it might have been a good reminder to consider the bigger picture were it not for how dangerously close the other people in that picture kept coming to crashing into the station wagon.

It wasn't until they cleared the outskirts, driving alongside the vast empty fields outside of town that Mari even realized that she'd been holding her breath. At some point while she'd busied herself worrying about the other cars, they'd managed to make it out of town, and driving through a lesser used back route, what few other cars that were accompanying them were driving far more sensibly on the straightaway then they'd been in the tight grid of the city's streets. The thundering of her heartbeat in her own ears was almost enough to block out the slowly retreating sound of sirens as Mari finally allowed herself to relax a bit, having to almost peel her fingers off her mother's hand which she'd been holding onto so tightly that she worried she'd broken something. However, even after another distracting shock, the more the adrenaline of fear faded, the more the black cloud of anxiety settled back over her. By the time she'd managed to get her breathing back under control it had returned almost entirely, but before she could ask again to try to get more information out of her father, Mr. Weiss ended up being the one to break the silence instead.

"We don't know."

There was a finality to his words. It wasn't a tone which demanded that there would not be any more discussion, but one which told her that there could not be any further discussion. It was the same tone her father had used, that same hollow finality that told her that he wasn't lying, at least not completely.

"We're going to go meet up with a military contact, Andreas Gannon. He was a friend of ours back in Korea." Gannon. As Mariana heard that word again something about it struck her as significant. While she'd heard stories about the war from her father, it wasn't a topic he liked to discuss very often; his reluctance for dredging up bad memories being the reason why she originally hadn't known who Mr. Weiss was or the connection between their families. Still, she remembered that name; it had only come up once, but something about how her father had talked about him had caused the memory to stick with her, even if only faintly. She didn't know much about him, only that according to her father, he was a man who was 'born to be a soldier'.

"W-where are we supposed to meet him?" This time the confusion in her voice was more benign, less desperate now that she was at least getting someone to talk to her. Still, she had to wonder why, if they were going to see a soldier, they were driving off not towards a forest road and past the tree line instead of towards the freeway where she knew there was a military base not too far away.

"Unfortunately, our meeting point is a little bit off the beaten path, he's always been a bit of a recluse. If it were up to him, he'd be somewhere in the Alaskan wilderness." It seemed that finally talking about their situation wasn't just helping with Mariana's mental state, with Mr. Weiss sounding almost a bit witty as he spoke, something which even managed to prompt a small chuckle from her father.

"Yeah, if it weren't for Brayden, I'm sure he'd be as hard to find as the Sasquatch." For a moment her father almost sounded like his usual self. As he spoke, the man looked away from the road for a moment to glance back at her from over his shoulder, trying to muster the most comforting smile he was capable of in that moment.

"Don't worry Mar, we'll all be in good hands." For a moment Mariana found herself comforted by those words, his smile easing the weight of that storm cloud even if only a little bit. However, as they entered the tree line, she realized that her relief might have been premature. As she saw the approaching headlights Mari had just enough time to wonder why they were headed towards the sirens.

"SAM THE RO-!"

There was the feeling of weightlessness. It reminded her almost of the time her family had saved up for a big vacation just so they could do something special for her birthday. Sitting at the apex of the rollercoaster there was that last second as the car tipped over the hill, when you were falling but your body hadn't yet realized that gravity was pulling you downward. It was a bit like that moment where you felt all tingly inside right before the big drop. And then, as all things must, she fell.

While the weightlessness had been a singular experience, the fall seemed to stretch on forever. The air felt thick and cool against her limbs, like sinking down through a viscous ink. And perhaps she was sinking in ink, for she couldn't see anything around her except for the blackness, or perhaps she just couldn't open her eyes. Time became a sanguine thing, like a dream almost, where one couldn't tell when something began or ended; Mariana couldn't tell when the pain had finally set in, only that it was there now. Still, what kind of pain it was exactly still eluded her; it was as though a dull throb had permeated every inch of her body. Breathing was a difficult task, her lungs seeming hesitant to cooperate with her, and her ribs straining in protest each time she drew in a breath. Still, even though she knew she should be in agony, or at least she felt as though she should be, the pain wasn't all that bad. It was dulled, each sharp burst feeling distant and removed from her, almost like she was experiencing something happening to someone else. Even through the fog she could still feel herself, feel the sharp tug of the seatbelt against her shoulder, feel the comfortable warm wetness which coated the left side of her face, making it hard for her to open her eyes, but everything felt so blurry. The ink was calling to her again, it hurt... or it probably did... either way, it would be so much easier if she could just sink back in and go to sleep...

"This is.... This is W o-one..." There was a voice... she recognized it, but whose voice was it?

"W1... our... our coordinates... they're..."

Little snippets of sound broke through the dull malaise and reached her. For the life of her, Mariana couldn't understand what they meant, or even if they were supposed to mean anything. It was much too loud, she could make out more voices as well, quick snippets of talking whose voices it was eluded her. For a moment she experienced the smallest bit of clarity, enough to remember that she'd been heading somewhere, or heading away from somewhere. It had been important whatever they were doing... she should probably get up... her mother would be upset with her if she slept in when they had something important to do... But the sounds kept getting louder. It wasn't the voices this time, at least none that she recognized. Instead it was a loud roaring sound, almost like a lion but higher and drawn out like a single note being held at a deafening volume. The sound didn't make much sense, she was sure that she'd fallen asleep in a car, not a plane. Either way, it was making her head hurt a lot... maybe if she just went back to sleep she'd feel better when she woke up...

"Andy! Over here!" More noises. How was she supposed to sleep if people were going to keep making so much noise? At least the voice was familiar... although she couldn't place who it belonged to. Maybe if she just ignored them, they'd let her keep sleeping... Unfortunately, it seemed like that wasn't going to work, Mari could faintly feel a pressure on her upper arm as someone grabbed at her, tugging her along somewhere.

"C'mon, help me out here girly, I know you're tired but you gotta help." A low groan escaped the girl's lips, her body protesting as she found her feet suddenly forced to support her weight, and something firm and warm pressed itself into her side, digging into her ribs and keeping her from falling back to the ground. She didn't want to go... but whoever was calling her didn't seem like they were just going to let her sleep; so, she managed to put one foot in front of the other. Each step was met with a strange crunching feeling as the ground seemed to shift beneath her feet, but she couldn't make out what she was stepping on; her left eye refused to open for some reason, and she just couldn't manage to get the right one to focus. Trying to hurt, trying to see and trying to walk were both met with that same dull pain, her entire body feeling like one big bruise getting poked whenever she moved, but at least it helped distract from the much harsher pain ringing in her head.

"There we go. Come on, help me move her to the truck!" Trying to open her eyes was proving too difficult, so she couldn't tell who was touching her when a strong pair of arms hoisted her up, raising her before setting her down on something soft. Still, it wasn't as soft as the seats in the station wagon had been... that stray thought managed to resonate with her, the station wagon... she didn't usually sleep during car rides... but she didn't this time either... They'd crashed.

"Mi-Mister Weiss... where... where are..." At first, she didn't recognize the voice speaking, it was hoarse and gravelly, but it was saying the words that she was trying to get out through the haze in her head. She knew she'd recognized that voice, and if Mr. Weiss was okay then her parents must be okay somewhere nearby as well.

"Hey, hey, hey, I need you to relax sweetheart." It was Mr. Weiss again, except... no, it wasn't his voice. It was too soft to be his voice, but she could have sworn that she recognized it from somewhere...

"Easy now girly, I'm going to go get your stuff, alright? Andy make sure she doesn't move too much." There was another voice, but it just seemed to grunt a quick 'yes'. She didn't recognize this voice. She tried to open her eyes again, but it hurt, and she only managed to open her right eye partially; even then, everything was just so blurry, the only thing she could really make out was... white hair.

"Rest kid, you're going to need it." There was the gruff voice again. It was stern, and although she wanted to ask how her mom and dad were, she was too tired to argue with it. Besides, it had told her to rest... that sounded nice. Everything would surely be better after she got some sleep. So rather than fight it, she closed her eyes and let the darkness take her again.

Everything hurt again. Although her head was still fuzzy, it wasn't enough anymore to mask the dull throb which seemed to run the length of her body with every beat of her heart. It didn't help either that the bright lights above her were shining so brightly that she could see them from behind her eyelids. The light only made her head hurt more, but through that pain she was at least able to make out a few details of her surroundings; she could smell the sterile odor of bleach, and hear the distant sounds of activity over the steady beeping of a machine from somewhere above her head. Opening her eyes into the smallest of slits, Mariana let out a soft groan as she lifted one hand in an attempt to block out that impossibly bright light. When that didn't work, she attempted to turn onto her side to get away from it, a choice she instantly regretted as the movement sent a sharp jolt of pain down the side of her ribcage strong enough to completely break through the last of the fog in her head.

"Shit!" She gasped from the sensation, falling onto her back as she tried to catch her breath, trying to take shallow breaths so as to not further aggravate her ribs.

"Easy there! That's a good way to pop a stitch." There was that voice again. It sounded a bit sterner this time, but she was sure it was the same one. Hearing that voice, she attempted to turn her head towards it as much as she could manage without bringing on even more pain, forcing her eyes to open so she could finally see who that voice belonged to. It was a man who looked to be in his mid to late twenties with skin that seemed just a few shades darker than her own. He had deep green eyes and thick black hair which fell in loose curls around his face. Seeing her eyes open, the man gave her a gentle smile, leaning in a bit closer from his perch at her bedside.

"Good to see you're awake, name's Brayden; but people call me Doc. I'm a friend of your father." He sounded so cheery, and that name, Brayden; her father had mentioned a Brayden before.

"Mariana but people call me Mari. Um... where am I?" Her voice was hoarse, and it hurt to talk, but she forced herself to do so anyway. As she spoke, her eyes darted around, looking at the room beyond Brayden; she could see other beds, recognizing them as hospital beds. Some of them seemed to be occupied, but as far as she could tell they were all sleeping, or at least she hoped they were.

When at last her gaze returned to the man, the soft smile he wore suddenly looked more forced, and she noticed his own eyes darting around as well.

"You're at Fort Theta; only for now of course, you'll be transferred to a civilian refuge center as soon as you've healed up well enough, so don't worry." He focused his eyes on hers again, trying to give her a more reassuring smile. She didn't recognize that name, as far as she could remember, Mari had never heard of a Fort Theta before; all of the bases she could remember from school or her father's stories were named after old generals or military people. Still, if they were going to be transferred to a civilian camp then at least she, her parents, and the Weisses would be safe. That thought hit her with a little kick as it suddenly occurred to her that they might have been hurt in the crash as well. Her eyes wide open now, Mari looked more carefully around the room as much as she could manage without hurting herself, but none of the other occupied beds she could see held any inhabitants which resembled her parents or her neighbors.

"My... My parent's... are they at the civilian camp too?" She settled her gaze on Brayden again, looking at him with what she thought was a close approximation of a hopeful smile. And she smiled. And smiled. But he didn't respond. Each second that the awkward silence dragged on she could feel her stomach turn, until at last his own smile fell as he reached out to place his hand atop her own.

"Mariana... I'm sorry." The girl suddenly felt hollow. Still, she kept smiling, as if she expected him to tell her that he was joking at any moment, but he didn't.

"When we got there, you were the only one we found." Now it was her turn to be quiet. Mariana just stared back at him after he'd spoken, unable to stop smiling, and only just able to hold back her own tears.

"W-What do you mean...? Where were they? You... you have to have some idea, right?" It was getting harder to breathe now, and not just because of the pain in her chest. Her parents weren't dead. Of course they were still alive, they'd have to have made it out okay if they weren't at the crash site. But if they were okay why hadn't they waited for help? Why hadn't they taken her with them?

Brayden gently squeezed her hand. Even that gentle pressure hurt a bit, but the pain was enough to at least help her focus, breaking free from the descending spiral of her own thoughts.

"We... believe that they were taken." There was a brief pause, she could see his eyes darting around again.

"There was evidence that they managed to escape the car... but their tracks just disappeared from there." He wasn't telling her everything. Mariana was finding it difficult to keep her eyes open or her attention tuned, but even so, she was still able to tell that he wasn't telling her the entire story. Even so, from the tone of his voice she could tell that there wasn't anything else she would be able to get out of him. It was frustrating having to go through this again. Again, she was left with nothing but questions, having to watch everything fall apart around her but remaining stuck in the dark, unable to even answer for herself: why?

"Again, I'm sorry." Mari didn't look back at Brayden, but she could hear him stand up.

"I'll give you a moment alone." The soft sound of his footsteps retreating along the tile floor seemed to echo louder and louder even as he got further away. She didn't turn to look, didn't try to say anything to stop him from going. She just lay there, the sound of his footsteps still echoing around in her head even though the real ones had long since faded away. Her eyes remained open, fixed on some blank spot on the ceiling as that same ghost of a smile refused to leave her lips; she didn't want to smile, but at the same time she felt like laughing, like crying, like screaming, like punching a wall... but she didn't. She just stared, the same question repeating itself in her head as if she'd miraculously find the answer carved into the ceiling: why?


	6. Baba O' Riley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adjusting to life in the barracks

"How are you holding up?"

Mariana forced herself to take a deep breath and say anything improper in response to the now all too familiar question. Shifting her attention from an attempt to memorize the pattern of the tiles on the floor for the fifteenth time, she looked up towards Brayden who had taken a seat at her bedside and remained paused with his pen hovering over her chart as he waited for an answer.

"I'm feeling a lot better." She said, putting on a somewhat forced smile. "My head isn't hurting nearly as bad anymore, and some of the bruises are already starting to fade."

"You know that isn't what I meant." Brayden met her gaze, his voice more serious now as he peered at her from over his clipboard.

"Really, I'm fine Doc."

Brayden just looked at her for a long, silent moment, setting the chart down on the bed beside her. Leaning back in his chair he crossed his legs one over the other, looking down at her with a more scrutinizing gaze.

"Forgive me if I find that hard to believe. Look, I know I've asked you a lot-"

"Five times since yesterday." She interjected, forcing the man to sigh and raise his hands placatingly.

"Okay, five times. But you have to understand, this shouldn't just feel normal. I understand that you aren't just a kid, but that doesn't mean you have to keep taking everything with a stiff upper lip." After a moment's hesitation he reached out and placed his hand atop her own.

"I know that you can handle this, but I just want to make sure you're doing it the right way. Pretending that everything is fine isn't going to make it true." He spoke slowly, as if trying to inject as much meaning into his words as he could, eyes searching her own for any indication that his words had taken root.

Mari just shook her head, pulling her hand out from beneath his.

"Really, Doc, I promise you I'm alright. I'm just counting my blessings, not everyone walks away from a crash like this like I did. All things considered I was lucky, and I just think it's a bit selfish to complain when I made it out okay, and a lot of other people didn't." She didn't maintain direct eye contact as she spoke, focusing on some space perhaps an inch past one of the doctor's ears as she absentmindedly picked at one of the bandages on her arms which had yet to be removed. Even without directly looking, Mariana could tell that Brayden wanted to say something else, but after another pregnant pause it seemed as though he'd decided against it. Instead, the man rose wordlessly to his feet, offering a hand to the girl which she promptly waved off.

"I can get up by myself." Brayden just shook his head, his hand remaining in place.

"No, you can't. A concussion like yours isn't just another painful bruise. You insist you're doing fine? Okay. But I'm not budging on this one. Doctor's orders." Mari bit her lip, sighing exasperatedly as she finally took the man's hand and let him help her out of bed. Immediately, as her feet hit the floor she almost buckled under her own weight, her head feeling loose, like her body was swaying on a small boat in turbulent waters. The brief moment of vertigo almost sent her toppling, only to be saved by falling forward into the doctor's arm which had already been waiting to steady her. Attentive as always. She didn't understand why he put so much effort into helping her; it wasn't a matter of her self-worth, or of his work ethic, but she couldn't figure out why he went out of his way to personally help her walk like this. The medical ward wasn't exactly what one would call a static environment, she'd heard the nurses talking when they thought she was asleep, and from the sound of things it seemed like everyone was overworked and understaffed, both here and at the civilian camp. And yet here Brayden was, her personal babysitter.

"Where are we going now anyways?" Just as soon as up and down had reasserted themselves, Mariana shot Brayden a look from the corner of her eye, trying to lean on him as little as she could as she got used to being on her feet again.

"Well, I have an errant to run, and I thought if I left you in bed any longer you'd try and go exploring on your own, so I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and save the nurses the effort of having to help you back into bed." Even with the inordinate time the doctor spent around her, she still couldn't read that coy tone well enough to know if he was teasing her or being serious.

"Hey, I've only been staring at the ceiling for twelve hours, I'm far more patient than you give me credit... for..." Any thought of a retort or complaint died as they passed through the med bay doors, standing slack-jawed for a moment as her mind tried to process her surroundings. Up until this point she'd been under the impression that she'd been in a hospital; the wing she'd been in had been filled with hospital beds, drab curtains, clean white walls, and that ugly sterile tiling; but it seemed that any similarities stopped at the door.

The hospital wing opened into a large octagonal room; the walls plated in some kind of lustrous metal which she couldn't identify and lined with a series of panels which emitted a harsh white light which seemed to make everything just a bit too painfully bright. Casting her eyes downwards in an attempt to block some of the light, her gaze settled on a series of dimmer strips of light in various colors, all seeming to cross and form a series of dotted lines heading off in a number of different directions. This was most definitely not a nurse's station, and Mariana was left with absolutely no idea as to what it could be. Her gawking was then cut short by the sound of chuckling from over her shoulder, and she suddenly remembered where she was, and who she was with.

"If you're this enamored with the halls, just wait until we get somewhere that's actually impressive."

It was difficult to tell how long they walked, labyrinthine floor plan aside, her attention kept being stollen by every little thing they passed, from the uniformed officers hurrying past, too the bright lights, to the strange doors and machines which led places and did things which she couldn't even begin to imagine. Every door looked virtually identical, a solid metal indent in the wall flanked on one side by a small black slab with a string of numbers underneath it. The only indication she got that they'd reached their destination, aside from the whiplash she got from Brayden coming to an abrupt stop, was that the door they'd stopped before was at least somewhat different from the rest. This one was larger, appearing to be a set of double doors, with the word Control etched above it. Brayden moved from her side, leaving Mari to stand somewhat shakily on her own as he stepped up to the small black slab beside the door, placing his right hand upon it.

"Uh, Doc?" Mariana raised an eyebrow, looking quizzically at the man, but before she could actually question him the slab lit up beneath his hand, glowing a bright green. There was a sudden mechanical chirp followed by a hydraulic hiss, and then the doors opened. For the second time that day Mariana was left standing still, only able to stare as her mind tried to make sense of something which seemed out of place outside, like the pages of one of the worn paperbacks Holiday liked to read. The interior of the room was surprisingly dimly lit, people sitting down before what looked to be floating television screens with impossibly fine resolution; walking past, she could see that the images weren't actually floating, but being projected onto paper thin sheets of glass, moving and shifting at the touch of their operators who pulled and positioned items on the screen as easily as one might rearrange magnets of the fridge. She could make out charts and maps, each labeled with text that was too small to read, and she couldn't try without the ache in her head returning. None of this was like anything she'd ever seen before, and she couldn't escape the feeling that is was something that she wasn't supposed to be seeing now.

Tearing her eyes away from the impossible screens and focusing on where Brayden was leading her, she spotted a rather large man with his back to them, seemingly deep in conversation with a young blonde woman who looked like she might be around Mariana's own age.

"He looks scary, but he's actually a good guy." As they got closer, Brayden leaned in to whisper into her ear before immediately straightening up and interrupting whatever discussion might have been taking place.

"Andreas! Look who I brought!" Brayden's loud voice shattered the quiet murmur of the room, the doctor taking on an almost melodic air as he took Mariana's arm firmly in his as though they were two friends off on a stroll. This succeeded in getting the other man's attention, and as he turned around Mari had all the context she needed to figure out who he was. The man towered over her at an impossible six foot six, at least, his stark white hair slicked back in a utilitarian military style; while Mari couldn't necessarily distinguish military rank from a person's uniform, the amount of decorations adorning his marked him as someone important, not that he needed rank to be intimidating. It was like her father had said, a man who was born for the army, and here Brayden was addressing him in a painfully casual manner.

Andreas looked down at them, in what felt like a figurative sense as well as a literal one, looking incredibly annoyed by Brayden's less than formal interruption of his conversation.

"Major Gannon, how many times have I told you not to address me so informally while on duty?" The man's voice was deep and resonant, and Mari couldn't help but be glad that the naked irritation in it wasn't directed at her, although she could still feel his gaze pressing down on the two of them, something which apparently had no effect on the doctor.

"Stopped counting after two fifty, but I know it gets your attention, Major. There, see, fixed it. Happy now?" Brayden blatantly teased the other officer, smirking widely as he raised one hand to give the much taller man's cheek a light pat. Mariana couldn't help but just watch in awe as Brayden continued to act to horribly familiar with such an imposing figure; with everything that had happened to her, and everything she'd seen since waking up, somehow this was the most surreal thing she'd witnessed; for a moment she worried that the Doc might have been right to worry about her concussion. And then she suddenly had other things to worry about as the man's eyes shifted over to her, narrowing before returning to Brayden.

"What is she doing down here? She should be on the civilian floor." Andreas's voice was harsh and commanding, his eyes boring holes in the doctor even as he completely ignored her. Rather than wilting, Brayden just sighed and draped an arm over her shoulder in another overly familiar gesture.

"I'm not letting Sam's kid stay out to dry after all he did for us. I brought her here to meet you-"

"You can't just decide these things-"

"And yet I did. Her health is my responsibility and I have decided that it is in her best interest to keep her nearby. The guys upstairs have enough on their hands, even after I had to send almost all my nurses up there!" He pulled Mariana closer to his side, pressing the two of them together as he placed his other hand defiantly on one hip, meeting Andreas's look of cold fury with one of almost childish petulance. Mariana found it difficult to breathe, feeling crushed under the tension as the two stared each other down, waiting for the other to blink first.

"Brayden..." Mariana tried to speak up, unable to endure the pressure without trying to lessen it but was promptly silenced by Brayden when he spoke again.

"She's. Staying." Had he been talking to anyone else Mariana would have said that despite the almost playful tone the doctor's words left no room for argument, but Andreas hardly seemed impressed. They just stood there in silence, the tapping of keyboards around the room painfully loud as the other officers did their best to pretend like this wasn't happening. Surprisingly, it was Andreas who was the first to give. After a long moment he just let out a resigned sigh and turned his attention back to the young woman who had remained silent through the entire ordeal.

"Private, you are being assigned to this young woman's side. She will be staying in your barracks for the remainder of her recovery." Despite the concession, Brayden frowned.

"Major, I would like to keep her in the med bay for observation-"

"She will not be taking up space in our med bay. Those beds are reserved for soldiers who need care, I will not fight you on this any further Major Gannon." She could hear the impressive restraint in the man's heavily controlled voice, and while Brayden didn't seem happy with the compromise, he didn't look like he was about to push the issue any further than he already had.

"Fine. Sasha, take care of her alright? She's going to need assistance walking for the next day or two if she's going to be up more than around ten minutes at a time." Brayden still sounded relaxed, but nowhere near as informal as he addressed the blonde Private.

The young woman, likely Sasha, just nodded, smiling nervously as she stepped forward and extended an arm to Mariana. Mari took it, trying not to lean too heavily on this new stranger as she was led out of the control room without another word from either Brayden or Andreas, evidently having been dismissed.

"So... Brayden is Major Gannon then? From what I'd heard I'd assumed it was Andreas." She chuckled awkwardly, trying to break the uneasy silence as the girl led her further through the brightly lit maze of chrome passageways. She figured that her father might have misspoke, or else not cued her in on an inside joke, but Sasha just shook her head, visibly trying to suppress a smile.

"Actually, they're both Major Gannon." Mari paused, letting out a sudden laugh herself.

"Both are Major Gannon? That's gotta be confusing. When did they find out they had the same last name?" Something about the general absurdity of it lightened the mood a bit, as did thoughts of Brayden's eccentric behavior in hindsight.

"It was actually right after Doc changed his last name so they would match." Sasha replied, still trying to keep a smile off her face.

Eventually they came to another door where Sasha touched another black panel on the wall. The door opened into a slate grey room whose most prominent features were the six drab metal framed beds inside. Everything was perfectly immaculate, and if she hadn't been led to believe otherwise, Mari might have assumed that the room was completely unlived in.

"The guys will be back soon. This is your bed for now." Sasha directed Mari to the cot furthest from the door on the left, having her sit down on its edge while she grabbed some fresh sheets from the large metal trunk resting at its foot.

"Thanks... I'm Mariana, sorry for intruding." Mari rested her hands uneasily in her lap, unsure what to do with them, feeling more flustered from the extra work she was creating for others now that she was in the presence of someone who at least seemed like more of a normal person. Sasha just set out the seats on the bed, sitting down across from Mari and crossing her legs under her, holding out a hand as she did.

"Sasha, nice to meet you. And don't worry about it, it will be nice to have someone around who isn't... well... gross." She laughed, her nose crinkling as Mari shook her hand. It seemed that Mari wasn't the only one feeling more comfortable away from all the officers and hospital equipment, and the two quickly found out that they had quite a bit in common. Sasha was apparently from the east coast, the daughter of Russian immigrants; something that Mariana could certainly sympathize with her about considering the current state of affairs.

"So... Outside. Do you know anything?" The conversation had come to something of a lull, and so Mari took the opportunity to try and ask something that she'd been unable to get out of Brayden, hoping that her new friend might be a bit more forthcoming. Unfortunately, this didn't seem to be the case. Sasha's smile faltered and the girl looked down at her hands, sighing.

"It's... complicated. I don't know a lot, and what I do, I'm afraid that I can't tell you. I'm sorry, but I can't really go around sharing classified information with civilians." She offered an apologetic smile.

"Why would it be-" The door to the barracks opened with a loud hiss, interrupting her thoughts for a moment.

"Ugh! This is stupid! We shouldn't be benched! There's a whole fucking war out there!" The quiet was broken by a tall brunette as he stormed into the barracks, immediately falling back onto one of the cots.

"That's why they're not sending us." He was quickly followed by another young man of middle eastern descent who spoke in a considerably calmer tone.

"We aren't exactly the 506th, they aren't about to send a bunch of unhardened cadets off to the front lines."

"You don't have to remind me, I already know. Doesn't make it any less crappy!" The brunette groaned in response.

"Luke.... Akash... guys... HEY!" Sasha spoken up to get their attention.

"WHAT!? Oh. We got a guest." The louder of the two sat up on his cot, turning to look towards the two of them. Mari just waved awkwardly, looking back and forth between the three rather eclectic individuals. Sasha rose to her feet and moved towards the middle of the room, looking between them as well as she introduced her.

"This is Mariana. Major Gannon asked me to keep an eye on her until she gets transferred to the civilian camp. So, if you have anything you best keep to yourself... well then you best keep it to yourself."

Mari realized that they were actually serious about this while classified thing, even if it seemed ridiculous that even at a time like this, they'd still be keeping everything secret.

"Yeah, well tell that to the other guys when they get here." The brunette groaned, standing up and making his way over the spot vacated by Sasha as the other man reclined back on his own cot and pulled out a book.

"Name's Lucas, everyone calls me Luke. Nice to meet you newbie." Luke gave her a crooked smile, digging through one pocket before tossing her a piece of contrabanded candy. Mari managed to catch it, looking down to find a neatly wrapped piece of salt-water taffy. Rolling the wrapped sweet between her fingers she couldn't help but smile a bit; she hadn't had taffy in a while now, not since the last Halloween she'd spent with Holiday. She almost didn't want to unwrap it, something sweet might help her feel better, but she didn't want to let go of that bittersweet feeling of nostalgia she got when she looked at it. As much as she professed that she was okay, Mari really just wanted to have at least one thing she could hold onto here, something familiar that she could hold onto to help get her through the worst of it. And because the world seemed to despise her, she was given just that. Before she could unwrap the taffy, Mariana was greeted by a voice which was all too painfully familiar.

"Well, well, well. We've got to stop running into each other like this~" That stupid, condescending tone. Mari didn't even look up at him, she didn't need to see who it was to who was trying to get her attention.

"Brent, you're still alive." She spoke at a dead monotone, any expression dropping off her face. She could make him out from the corner of her eye, leaning against the doorframe, no doubt still wearing that same infuriating smirk which made her want to punch through a wall.

"You worried about me? How sweet." His tone was a bit too sickly sweet, walking towards her until he stood right in front of her, forcing her to look at him as he just stood there with his hands stuffed casually into his pockets.

"That's certainly not the word I would use." She tried to fit every ounce of venom she could into those words, turning away so she wouldn't have to look at him. Brent was the last person she needed to deal with right now. He however, didn't seem inclined to leave her alone, instead throwing his head back and letting out that annoyingly loud laugh before leaning up against the wall directly beside her, and back in her line of sight.

"Tongue's still sharp as ever I see... but I can't help noticing that the fairy isn't around...where'd he fly off to?" His tone was a mocking sing-song, and Mari had to bite down hard on her lower lip to keep herself from outright screaming at him.

"Shut up Brent." Her voice came out quiet, but it wasn't soft, it was slightly choked, but steely and cold, the kind of warning a dog gave before it bit you.

"Brent, stop." Sasha tried stepping in, joined by Luke as they both sensed the mounting tension. "Yeah, leave her alone. She's been through a lot you should-" Brent decided to brush them both aside, digging into her even harder.

"Heard he got drafted. Did he cut and run to Canada?" He asked with a self-satisfied chuckle, looking up at the ceiling as he continued in that deeply grating tone.

"You know, I wouldn't put it past him, Holiday used to cry if you poked him too hard- Shit!" Looking up at the ceiling like a casual asshole, Brent didn't see anything coming until he felt the foot connect hard between his thighs. Keeling over in pain, his face collided with a knee, his nose erupting with a hot spray of blood.

Mariana hadn't meant to stand up. In fact, she didn't know that in her condition she even could get up so fast, but instead of dizziness or vertigo all she felt was a burning rage. Within a second Sasha was on her, grabbing Mari and pulling her away as quickly as she could to the other side of the room while Luke and Akash rushed to Brent, holding him back before he could collect himself and retaliate. Mariana strained against Sasha, trying to break free from her grasp and get back to Brent. She was livid, her vision red; a kick to the balls and a possibly broken nose wasn't nearly half of what he deserved; it was like a dam had burst and suddenly the anger from every single thing he'd done and said since the moment she'd met him came crashing back to her all at once, begging her to het even with him.

"You bitch!" Brent screamed, trying to staunch the flow of blood from his nose while also struggling against the other two men on the far side of the room.

"You want a bitch? I'll show you a bitch! Say his name one more time and see what happens!" Mari screamed right back, but unfortunately it seemed that their little skirmish wasn't without an audience. At that moment the metal door to the barracks slid open as Andreas arrived to check up on the squad.

"What the hell is going on in here?!" Immediately all of the soldiers snapped to attention. Mariana was able to shrug free of Sasha's grasp, but even her intense rage wasn't enough to get her to take another lunge for Brent under Andreas's steely glare.

"Abbasi, explain." The Major commanded, stepping fully into the room, hands clasped firmly behind his back as he stared the cadets down. At his command Akash took a step forward, still at attention.

"There was a physical altercation between Private Walker and the civilian, sir!"

"Was this provoked?" He questioned.

"Y-yes, Sir! Walker was taunting her." He stumbled over his words as he spoke. Mariana couldn't blame him; Andreas was incredibly intimidating. He took two steps forward, standing directly in front of Brent, and leaned down to look him in his eyes.

"I want you to run ten laps around the base. Full MOP gear. If your mask isn't full of sweat, you'll do another twenty. And YOU." Hearing the officer immediately chew out Brent, Mariana figured that he must have had a record of behavioral problems, not that it would surprise her, and that she hadn't evoked the Major's wrath herself; she was wrong at least about the last part.

Andreas turned to Mariana, iron gaze boring into her as he spoke in a low, cold tone.

"This is warning number one. You may be a civilian, but there are rules here, and you will behave accordingly. The good doctor might want you down here, but if you pull anything like this again, I will not hesitate to find you a new one, one who will not hesitate to send you upstairs with all of the other refugees. Have I made myself clear?" He looked her dead in the eyes, daring her to defy him. It was difficult to remain angry and defiant when she was trying her hardest not to wet herself in front of everyone. All she could do was nod repeatedly and hope that it was enough to placate him. Andreas just stared her down for another few heartbeats before straightening up again and walking away.

"As you were...and someone get Walker a tissue." He grumbled as he left the room. It wasn't until the doors had sealed firmly behind him that anyone was able to breathe again. Akash brought Brent to sit so he could help him stop the bleeding while Sasha went to go get something to clean up the blood from the floor, Luke following close behind her. Mari just stood there where she'd been, looking down at her hands. She didn't know where that had come from; Mari wasn't a violent person, she didn't pick fights, and she was usually too afraid to raise her hands against anyone, especially a white man nearly twice her size. Raising a hand, she reached up to gingerly touch the tender knot which was still healing on the back of her head; it was the concussion, that had to be it. She sat down on the edge of the cot closest to her. That was why she'd done something like that... yeah, that was why. She let out a pained sigh, resting her face in her hands. This was a mess.


End file.
